Getting from A to Z
by Liv'Simply
Summary: Little ficlets of GSR fluff, each inspired by songs. There is no timeline for these ones, just random acts of GSR! Some funny, some sad, some cute. But all have some good old GSR. Reviews please, thank you!
1. A certain romance

New Story hope you like. Each chapter will be inspired by a song and within the chapter some of the characters words/clothing etc will relate to lyrics from the song. The song for my first chapter is a certain romance by arctic monkeys. Enjoy :)

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Nick's classic Reeboks squeaked slightly on the lab floor as he made his way to Wendy's lab, hoping he would finally get the results he had been waiting for. Instead of finding Wendy like he hoped, he found Sara sat at her computer, focusing on something.

''Hey sar..where's Wendy?'' Nick inquired, causing Sara to turn.

''Oh hey Nick...she went to get some coffee..I just thought I'd take a seat and look out for anything on the data base'' She smiled as she relaxed into the chair.

''Hmm...change of your usual attire?'' Nick grinned looking her up and down. She was dressed in a casual jade coloured shirt, with denim skinnys and knackered green converse. Sara looked down at herself as if she herself had no idea what she was wearing.

''Oh the jeans are new..the shoes..old'' She chuckled a little.

''Look it'' Nick joked

A giggle from down the hall interrupted their thoughts. Turning slightly around they saw Hodges and Wendy flirting insanely as if they were the only two in the lab. ''god they like each other so much'' Sara stated.

''And there's the truth that they can't see'' Nick muttered back.

''Its a funny thing you know'' Sara replied before continuing ''they'll never listen if we tell them to ask each other out''

''And it don't take no Sherlock Holmes to notice the dopey look Hodges gets when she's around'' Nick chuckled while the Wendy shoved Hodges playfully. The grins on their faces was enough to show how they really felt.

After watching them for a few more minutes Sara decided to leave Nick and walk to the layout table to go over her evidence. The murder weapon was a pool cue. The suspect had apparently had a few cans before fighting with the victim. But their seemed to be something wrong with the case, they just needed a few blood samples to prove it.

''Hey gorgeous'' Gil's voice filled the room disturbed her pondering mind.

''Hey'' She turned and greeted him with an embrace.

''Sara..you know we shouldn't do this in the lab''

''Well you started it..calling me gorgeous''

''Well..I can't help it''

She laughed a little in his arms, causing them both to shake.

''I'd get you on this table if I could but I think Ecklie would have something to say about it'' Gil winked cheekily.

''You know before I got involved with you I never would have thought you were so dirty''

''Your stuck with me now. You wont get me to go'' He grinned proudly. Sara shook her head and laughed at his childish antics.

''Good..because I love it that way'' She leaned forwards to gently peck his soft lips.

Wendy was now talking to Nick across the way, their words inaudible.

''Has Hodges asked Wendy out yet?'' Gil asked when he pulled away.

''No not yet.''

''Maybe he is scared to overstep the line or something'' Gil suggested quickly.

''No..I think he's just scared of Wendy in general''

''Well..took me quite a few years to ask the women of my dreams out so...'' Gil trailed off. Sara gasped a slapped his chest softly. ''Hey it was more then just a few years..six in fact..and it was more of a coincidence. Then one thing led to another..''

''An now I have a hottie as my wife..whoop whoop!'' Gil raised his arms in sync with the whoops. Every lab tech, CSI and other person in the lab turned quickly. Blood rushed to both of their faces as the embarrassment set in.

''ermm any who...what was you saying about the thing outside'' Gil grabbed Sara and practically ran to the door.

Once outside Sara turned to Gil and questioned ''What thing?''

''Nothing..I just said it so we could get rid of the awkwardness'' He shrugged.

''That was cute'' Sara flirted and moved closer.

''Your cute too'' Gil whispered and rested his palms on her ass ''and damn fine'' He continued.

Sara rolled her eyes ''your obsessed with my ass''

''I cant help it..its just so firm and touchable'' He shrugged again and widened his eyes, hoping to pull off an innocent look.

''Well...maybe if you take me home we can just see how firm and touchable it is when its bare'' She giggled and winked, before leaving his embrace and walking towards the car.

''Hey honey wait up!'' Gil yelled after her, then set off running to catch up.

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I know its short and everything but hey its only a drabble :)

Next one will be better I hope. Thanks for reading guys x


	2. Beautiful as you

This one is inspired by the song Beautiful as you by all 4 one :) Enjoy

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I sighed as I unlocked my front door and allowed myself into the house. As expected Hank jumped up at me happy to see me. ''Where's Mummy'' I asked the giddy boxer. He simply whimpered in response. I chuckled and shook my head as I reached down to scratch the top of his head. He nuzzled against my legs. I looked around for my partner. The house was very clean, but comforting at the same time. Before Sara moved in the place was almost robotic. Everything was put in one place with consideration and the rooms seemed very showcase like. The first thing we did to celebrate living together was redecorate. Now the living room had a warm glow. The beige walls and not too shiny floorboards made it comforting.

The pictures on the wall showed frozen images of past days. One of Hank from Christmas last year, a red Christmas hat slopped of one side of his head and he had his huge brown puppy eyes staring straight into the camera. In another picture was Sara and Hank together. She was laid on the couch looking down lovingly at the sleeping dog on her lap. There was a picture of the whole team. I walked towards the coffee table. It was littered with magazines. Most of them open at the diet or make up pages. ''She's been at it again'' I told Hank, not expecting a reply.

I turned to look at the fire place. My favourite picture was on there. It was of me and Sara. It was taken on a hot summer's day. The night shift were all off the clock because no crimes needed solving. We had decided to go to the park to just generally chill out and have a picnic. I was sat on the grass reading something. When Sara came over to see what I was doing. She told me to put the book down for a bit and come join her and the guys for a game of baseball. ''Hey you two love birds'' Catherine called. We both looked up to see Catherine stood in front of us with a camera pointed in our direction. I tried to protest, but forgot all about it when Sara grabbed my arms and pulled them in front of her and locked them around her waist. We both laughed at her antics. In the picture the laughing was evident. I had laughter lines around my eyes and Sara was smiling her beautiful Sara Sidle smile. I stared into the eyes of the Sara on the picture. I remembered the first time I met her. From the moment I looked into her eyes, I knew she was once in a lifetime. A feeling of pride swelled through me as I reminded myself how lucky I was to have her. The beauty of the setting sun in the picture enlightened her own beauty even more.

I walked down the stairs into the kitchen and let Hank out the back door. _Were is she?_ I thought as I looked for Sara. I wondered into the bedroom. It was defiantly a bedroom for lovers. The sheets were silky and dark burgundy colour. There were vanilla scented candles along the dresser and a sweet aroma lingering in the air. At night I would hold her in my arms and whisper my undying love for her. When I was younger and attended other peoples weddings I always pictured my perfect bride. I just never imagined just how beautiful she would be.

I looked in the en suite but she wasn't there either. I shook my head as I walked down the hallway towards the other, bigger bathroom. I opened the door to find Sara laying down in the bath. Her eyes were closed. She was washing shampoo out of her hair. I could smell the strawberries as I drew closer. She sat up silently and ran fingers through her dark hair. Her eyes fluttered open. Instead of being alarmed she just simply smiled at me and whispered ''You like watching me bathe'' It wasn't a question worth answering. We both knew the answer.

I chuckled at her. ''I don't know why you are doing all this'' I told her. She stitched her brow together in confusion. ''All of what? What do you mean?'' She asked me innocently. I gestured around me. There was hair products, face masks and some other stuff but I didn't know what they were. ''All this. The baths and face masks every night. All the diets you keep doing. I just don't know why you are doing it all'' Sara sighed and pondered this for a while before answering. ''Because'' She started ''We're getting married in 4 weeks''

''I know, I'm counting down myself, but that doesn't explain all this'' I replied.

''I'm getting ready'' She paused before continuing '' Its our special day Gil...and everyone will be watching us saying our vows and our first dance and stuff...I just wanted to look..well..beautiful'' She finished with a shrug and then started to play with her fingers.

I gaped at her. ''Beautiful?'' I said in a harsh whisper. She looked up but didn't say anything. ''Sara I love you so much that it hurts, you don't need to do all this to look beautiful. Your drop dead gorgeous. Your funny, witty, talented, amazing, intelligent. It will take me all night if I continue. I want to marry the Sara I met all those years ago. The Sara who made my heart flutter every time she looked at me, every time you entered my mind. You are beautiful on the inside and out. To me..that's all that matters.'' I finished by pushing some wet hair away from her delicate face.

''I've seen amazing rainbows that could leave you breathless...and even a few shooting stars..but I've never seen anything..as remarkable..as beautiful as you..''

She smiled as she blushed. ''Really'' She asked me hopefully.

''Of course darling, I've never felt so happy with someone before in my whole life. You are what makes my life worth living'' I smiled ''I love you so much Sara'' She gestured for me to come closer.

I leaned in and she whispered softly ''I love you too, Gil'' I smiled inside feeling her love engulf my heart. Then she wrapped her wet arms around me. I hugged her back not minding getting a little wet. ''Guess what'' She said using her husky voice. Before I answered she pulled me forwards. Off my feet and into the bath tub with her. When I recovered I looked at her, shocked at her behaviour. An innocent look stole her features. So cute. Then we both burst out laughing. ''That Miss Sidle was very sly'' I mumbled as I placed kisses down her slender neck.

She leaned back slightly sighing. ''Please...Gil'' Her silky voice almost pleading. Before she could finished my lips seeked out hers and sealed with them in a passionate kiss.

From the moment I saw her. From the moment I looked into her eyes. There was something about her. I loved her from then. I have never stopped and never will.

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Hope you enjoyed :) x


	3. Concrete angel

This one is inspired by Martina Mcbrides Concrete Angel. Sorry I haven't been posting..I was grounded for a week :S Anyways I'm back! Enjoy ;)

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Sara moaned as Gil gently placed a trail of kisses down her spine, leaving goosebumps in their wake. She was laid on her stomach, naked except for her flimsy panties. The dark silk sheets on the bed softly caressing her pale skin. A large hand rested on her side. She turned her head, hair flicking out, to see Gil grinning at her. He brushed his hand down her left side and let out a low whistle. Sara giggled as she turned over. ''Hey'' Gil muttered ''I didn't say you could turn over yet..I wasn't done'' He growled lovingly. His face leveled with hers. She winked and grinned slightly, enjoying teasing him.

''Oh..and since when were you in charge?'' Sara flirted. Her hands came up and stroked his masculine torso, the firm skin smooth to the touch. Her breathing slowed down as her hands delved lower. Gil watched her as he felt his own arousal growing. He chuckled as he gently gripped her wrists and pinned them to the pillows beside her. She let out a surprised but sexy gasp. A mixture of excitement and love spread a familiar hot feeling in her abdomen as she saw lust flicker in his deep sapphire eyes.

''Since you look so hot when your being dominated'' He winked as he leaned in and locked her soft pink lips in a passionate kiss.

''mm..I like this side of you'' Sara muffled while she fought his tongue with hers. He pulled away slightly and started to kiss her slender neck.

''You taste so good'' He stated..Sara closed her eyes as he pressed his lips on her skin. A sigh escaped her throat as he hit a tender spot. ''God Sara..I just love your...wait..what's that?''

Sara's eyes snapped open and wandered down to see Gil inspecting her collar bone. ''What's what?'' her voice showed her concern.

''This..a scar I think'' Gil rubbed his index finger along the soft groove in her skin. ''There's this little lump thing in there too'' He gazed upwards into her eyes, and scanned her face for a explanation.

''Oh..that. I thought you had seen it before?'' He shook his head gently and waited for her to continue.

''Well'' she started sitting up. Gil sensed the explanation was going to be some what uncomfortable and awkward for her. ''Sara..if you don't want to explain you don't have to'' He stated as he sat beside her.

She glanced up to him and nodded ''I want to tell you though, I might as well..I mean your just going to wonder what it is anyway'' She sucked in a deep breath then continued.

''Well..you already know about my..childhood. About how my father treated me. '' Gil nodded. He hated how one man could cause his beloved so much unhappiness, even though he did not even walk this earth any more. '' Well one day while I was packing my own lunch for school, my father thought it would be funny to chase me around the house with his belt. He got me a few times before I got into my bedroom. I thought I was safe'' Her voice hitched a little as she fought back her tears. She turned slightly so Gil could not notice her try to regain her posture, although he had already noticed. He gently caressed her back offering silent support. ''Anyway..he started pushing the door..and I knew it would not take much for him to break it down..so I ran to my window..and pushed it open wide. Then I climbed out and jumped onto the ledge which is only a few feet off the ground, only my foot slipped and I fell..and landed on this shoulder'' She pointed to her left shoulder, the side with the scared collar bone. '

'My mum found me a while later and took me to the hospital..without my dads permission. The nurses ..they acted as if they knew me. When they really had no idea what I was holding back. When we got back he told me to leave and go to my room. I could hear her screaming and crying as he beat her downstairs..and all I could do was shake on my bed'' Sara's last words became muffled as she cried out, letting the crystal droplets fall from her dark eyes. Gil pulled her into his strong arms, feeling her shake while she cried.

''Oh darling..I didn't want you to be this upset...I'm sorry I shouldn't have asked''

''No its okay..its not your fault I had a shit childhood..promise me..when we have kids..you will always love them..no matter what'' she looked deep into Gil's eyes while she whispered it.

''Kids...we haven't even spoken about them yet..and''

''Gil..promise me..please. I don't want our kids to live the life I did. I don't want them to be the kid that wears the same clothes they wore the day before..I don't want them to have to feel like they have to hide all their bruises and mask their pain from others''

''Okay Sara..I promise I would never make my own child bear that burden'' He rested his hands on her shoulders as he spoke. ''I mean it..I really do'' His face became sincere.

''Thank you'' She hugged him tightly. ''When I was younger I found dreaming as a way of temporarily escaping reality. I always dreamed I somehow fly..like a butterfly.. to a place where I was..just loved..for me. Sometimes I would wake up to hear a cry from my parents room..I wanted to help..but I was so small..and fragile'' Sara swallowed hard.

''Its okay baby, its not your fault..you were just a child'' He held her and rocked her gently. ''every day I thank God that I am fortunate enough to have you. I love you so much..words are not enough Sara''

''I love you too Gil..more then life itself'' She muzzled in the crock of his neck, before reaching up and planning a kiss on his tender lips. ''Make love to me'' she whispered, her voice full of love, desire and hope.

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Hope you enjoyed :) Please review. It will make my day x


	4. Dont wanna miss a thing

Yes, I realise it has been a while. But...I'm back. Writing again, now that the course work is slowing down. So here you are.

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Hank mildly whimpered as he realised I had walked into the empty kitchen. He padded over, his claws scraping against the cool wooden floorboards. I crouched slightly, scratching the back of his soft, hairy head, all the time looking for...my lady. _Hmmm._ She had a habit of disappearing around the house. I glanced at the kitchen clock on the far wall. 11:39. I stood straight. Hank returned to consuming the contents of his red food bowl. I walked though the house, towards the bedroom.

The room had the blissful ruminants of spiced apple candles. I tip toed in, silently, to avoid disturbing the figure captivated in a peaceful slumber on the bed. I crept around the edge of the bed, to the side I usually slept on.

Sara seemed to have re-enacted a tornado in between the twisted sheets. I reached down, gently removing some thick mocha hair from her face. The rest of her hair lay splayed out against the deep burgundy sheets, some resting against her slender throat. I smiled down at her. I could say awake all night just to listen to her gentle, slow breathing.

Thick, black lashes protruded the fine line joining her eye lids. Few freckles were dusted against her milky skin. The burgundy sheets made her seem even more pale, although I loved her all the more. She stirred slightly, turning her head as though she acknowledged my presence. A beautiful smile crossed her sleeping face. I grinned in response, knowing she couldn't see me, smiling all the same. Soon, she returned to her previous position, far away and dreaming. I glanced down at her body, the sheets covered some parts.

A creamy long leg twisted around a small part of the sheets, as if she had fallen asleep in this position, knowing I was going to be home soon, just to tease me. I sat there, watching, thinking about how I could spent my whole live in this sweet surrender, in the presence of sleeping Sara. My lover, best friend._ My soul mate. Oh Sara, I could stay in this moment forever, lost in you._

Every moment of every day that I spent with her is truly a moment I treasured, and kept close to my heart.

I stood, undressed as I watched her sleeping. I shoved my work clothes into the washing basket, savouring the thought of being able to wake up before Sara the next morning to make her favourite breakfast; blue berry pancakes. Then I would be able to spend the whole next day with her, just in her embrace.

_The frosty air nipped at my rosy cheeks. I watched as Hank playfully chased Sara through the thick, white blanket of snow, causing the green to appear behind them. The heat of the sun seemed fruitless against the bitter cold of winter, the sheet of ice white snow looked at though it had been designed with diamanté, glistening. _

_She glanced over at me, her eyes melting into mine, peering into the depths of my soul. The chocolate pools did not make me uncomfortable, at all. In fact, they made a part of me, inside, glow and swell with love, pride. _

_A harsh blast of frost hit against my clothed chest. I spluttered out a cough as I snapped my neck downwards to see the remains of a hand-made snowball. Sara's giggles filled the frosty air, as I reached down to create my own snowball. I stood up straight, then pulled my arm back. Sara had her eyes closed, due to the laughter. She opened her eyes to see the devilish smile twisting my face. Abruptly, a face of shock replaced the laughter. _

_Too late. I threw the cold ball at full force, the sphere coming into contact with her left shoulder as she turned, trying to avoid the hit of the frozen demon. Then she turned back to me. Charged. Running, racing, towards me. "Oh shi-" I muttered before she ploughed straight into me. I collapsed, into the snow, Sara falling with me. We laid in the snow for a while, maybe for hours, maybe for minutes, with our lips connected, whispering words of inclined affection and mutual love._

Now, I was laid beside her, on top of the covers, watching her once more. I didn't want to let my lids close, I didn't want to fall into a slumber. I often dreamt of her, although dreams are not as good as real life. Even when I dreamt of her, the sweetest dream could never replace the amazing serenity I felt when I was with her, in her presence. A dream could never do. You cant touch, smell, kiss. _You could not truly show love._

I changed positions so I was now lying close to her, on the bed, close enough to feel her warm breath gently drift over my skin. The thick lashes flicked slightly. Eye movement. I frown, pondering what dream could be materialising behind the closed lids. I wondered if she was dreaming about something familiar, soothing. Hoping it wasn't something which would subdue her gradually, until she finally lashed out, a nightmare controlling her being. Hopefully, a dream about Hank, or the team. Maybe even of me. My heart gracefully fluttered at that possible option.

I leaned forwards, closer, inhaling her scent of vanilla. Although it was faint, it seemed intoxicating, the way it lingered around her body. Pressing my lips against the creamy skin of her eyes, I smiled slightly, thanking the lord above, even though I was not religious, for such a magnificent creature. A woman so defined, yet she was bestowed upon me, happened to come my way. Fate? I hope so.

I just wanted to spend my life with this woman, just to be in her embrace. Forever...and ever.

A soft mumble made me turn my attention to the sleeping figure.

"Mmm...Gil?" She groaned, groggy from her slumber.

"Yes dear" I answered, lifting her hand and pressing a kiss into the firm palm. Instead of continuing, her mocha eyes wandered up the sheets, deepened into mine. A weary smile spread over her half awoken face.

I pulled up the covers to find her whole form beneath. As if by instinct, she moved towards me, her body fitting perfectly into mine. I engulfed her small frame, protecting her.

"Why did you come home early?" She inquired as she rubbed against me, getting comfortable, her head laying against my now bare chest.

"I realised something..." I started.

"_Mr Applegate...I understand this can be hard. But your co-operation could be very beneficial to our case. Now, I am about to lift this sheet from the body. You can look for as long, or as little, as you would prefer." Doctor Robbins spoke to the visibly shaken man. He stood on the other side of the metal slab, eyes so dark and empty, his lips pulled taunt into a thin line. Lines, creases in the skin, evidence of his concern racked his features. He knotted his hands as he waited for Robbins to finish talking "-now, are you ready?" Robbins inquired. Mr Applegate could only nod. _

_Robbins lifted the plain sheet, to reveal the young lady beneath. Short dirty-blonde hair lay against the metal, eyes closed and lips relaxed. The young man's hand clasped over his mouth as he muttered "Janey...oh God...please...no" _

_He looked up at us, from me, to Robbins, to me again. "Yes, that's her. That's the love of my life." He had started sobbing. His hand thrust into his left pocket. He lifted it out, producing a box. I knew what that was._

"_I was going to ask her...to finally ask her...then...I get a phone call from you guys" He blubbered, tears cascading down his reddening cheeks. "What will I do without you" He said to the corpse of his lover. _

"...and what exactly did you realise from that?" Sara whispered after she was finished listening.

"Well, you can't take everything for granted. He was about to ask the love of his life if she wanted to spend the rest of their lives together. Now, he will never get the chance. I don't want to lose that chance to spend time with you, no matter what we are doing. I don't want to miss anything in our life together. Our children's first smile. A peck on the cheek before we part for work. I don't want to miss anything." He finished by placing a large hand on her beautiful face, love burning deep in her eyes.

"Gil...I just want to be with you" she pulled me closer, our hearts seemingly screaming out in desperation towards each other. "Right here with you...just like this". She leaned up, her lips pressing gently against mine, the plump skin causing me to groan with desire, longing.

That night, while she was sleeping, I laid awake, once again. Watching her was one of the greatest pleasures of life. I had longed for the chance to be with her, for what seemed like a thousand eternities. I did want to be with her, there was no lie there. For the rest of time.

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Yeah, its short, but its only a little drabble. Reviews please?


	5. Everytime you turn around

_Back, its only a short one though. Which is what makes it a drabble of course! Thanks for the reviews. _

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I've done and seen a lot of things in my life. Often raised above over children intellect wise. Seen my family fall apart at the seams. Failed romances, secret lovers, near death experiences. You name it. I've been there. These things were all limited parts of my life however, some lasting a few moments, others months. Nonetheless, there is one thing that I have always been for the past thirty eight years of my life. I've been me.

Sometimes that was a bad thing, landed me in trouble. Other times, it was the best thing, pushing me ahead, solving the situation at hand. Since I was younger, since I lost my parents, I had only me to count on. Since then I vowed that I would follow me, only me. Follow my own dreams, not the faint promises of others.

There's no denying it. Life was hard. Especially as a teen. I was always trying, desperately hoping. Just wanting to find a scene in which I fit. I tried almost every type of clique, though my searches proved fruitless. I never told anyone about my life before. That changed the day I opened up to Gil.

It just felt so right. At that moment. I had been stressed, the pent up emotions tearing through the seams holding my being together had finally reached the surface. He had reacted better then I had thought. He must have figured that it was the true reason I had wanted to become a CSI in the first place. I had told him I wanted to 'right the wrongs of the world'. That was actually true. Now I realise I actually wanted to right the wrongs in my life, which could never be possible.

My mother stabbed my father. Left holes in his chest with a six inch knife. Left permanent gaps in my heart with her emotional monstrosity. I was always waiting for something for something to fill the gaps in my heart. Some case which would fill that bridge. Cases come and went, most solved. None made me feel better in the long run. I was patient, understanding...believeing. Believe me, I waited.

Then I found it. The gap. The sweet cement that would piece together the bricks of my heart. Every time I felt his presence I would turn, purposely, knowing he would be standing there. His silhouette watching over me, waiting for me, perfectly. I had known of the chemistry between us for years. I had also been sure he had too. We never acted on it. We would sometimes meet, in the parking lot, just before going home. Our cars always seemed to be close together, as though the metallic beings knew something we didn't. We would say a simple 'goodbye', or 'good night'. Maybe even a 'see you in the morning'. Then I would watch him drive down the other road, wishing I was in that Tahoe with him.

I was a good CSI, doing everything I should. Abiding all the protocols, never going against work procedures. Purposely anyway. When I could control my...temper. I had was known to have a short fuse. Then it happened. Gil asked me out for dinner one night. Next thing I knew, I wake up completely naked, in my bosses arms, in his bed, feeling all sore and bruised. In a good way of course. We had breakfast. Talked it over. Admitted our feelings. It seemed to be more hard for him then me. We agreed to take things slow, not rush into things. "I won't let you down" He groaned to my neck after a few peppered kisses. I didn't want our relationship to be just sex. The thing that happened the night before wouldn't be happening again for a while. That's what we said.

Only...it happened again. An hour later. In his shower. Then a few hours after that, in my bed this time. Again and again. Over and over. In my bath, on his table, my shower, the island in his kitchen, the couch in my living room. Hell, even on the floor if we couldn't make it somewhere more 'suitable'. We couldn't keep our hands off each other. I was surprised by his stamina to be true. Although, I couldn't complain.

Of course, we couldn't tell the team straight away. I believed it would be slightly...strange. "Maybe even break a few hearts" Gil half grinned, half smirked as he patted my rump, a gesture of typical male pride. The first few weeks where almost unbearable. The occasional cute smile or gentle bump against each other ceased to be enough for me to work with. Watching him get in his beloved Tahoe and trek the opposite road at the end of the work day was something that I dreaded, hated.

A few months passed. We had both been working hard. Both on our relationship and our actual jobs. Finding time for each other was a task that neither of us seemed able to complete. When we were together, we often argued because we were that frustrated. They often ended in Gil locking himself in his home office, and me whimpering in the bedroom. I held out, being strong and stubborn, as usual. One day, after a plate or two had reached their final destination, smashed on the kitchen floor, and I was in the bedroom, huddling with Hank, angry tears gently rolling down my cheeks, I realised that life is too short. "I don't want you to forget you are forgiven" I smiled at Gil beside me, a few hours later. His roughened fingers traced in between the mounds of my breasts, down my stomach as he grinned "How could I forget after that make up?"

Gil had experienced the world from various viewpoints. As a nine year old without a father. As a teenager with extreme intelligence. A man with so many choices and decisions. I knew I was a choice. One he took, with so much hope. All the reasons he believed in the things he believed in where connected to the way he thinks. The way he takes in knowledge, interprets information. Never seeing the truth in me was a reason why he must have found me 'a rare beauty' as he often stated. I told him. The truth. My childhood, the reason for the permanent stain of magenta of my mothers hands. My once happy, now broken family's past.

I sobbed, for quite a while actually. The soft padding of the couch supported me while I shook, my hand engulfed by Gil's. He said nothing, only watched as I allowed myself to break down. "I just didn't understand. I was so young...I thought...I thought that all familys were like that..." I gasped in between short sobs "All I wanted...was to be normal, with a...with a family. Like the other kids at school. I just wanted to be loved" Gil rose from his seat and sat with me. His arm slid across my back, brushing the cotton of my clothes against my back. I turned, welcoming the comfortable heat his torso offered. He held me as I shook.

A while later, when I was done, I looked up at his eyes. They were shiny, with unshed tears and a deep blue. "Now...I'm going to show you what it really means...to love." He whispered before pulling my face to his. His lips pushed into mine, a slow pressure that caused goosebumps to stand alert due to his touch.

Gil showed me what it really means to love. Its the feeling you get when you awake to find your partner, the fluttering in your stomach when they gaze upon you, with a look that's only yours. The small comments that refer to your private life together, one no one else knows about. That quick stolen peck on the lips when no one is watching, or the passionate kisses after you haven't seen each other in a while. The feel of your bodies fitting perfectly when you embrace, the smell of them so familiar. The way your partner takes your hand, for support and to show the world the pride they have in you. But most importantly, its the way you know they will be there, their shadow spilling onto you, every time you turn around.

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_What do you think? Reviews are loved. I don't know what I can improve if I don't get them of course. Thanks for reading. Much love._


	6. Falling away with you

**Authors note: **_This chapter is set out a little different, I just thought I would experiment with it. Anyway, the song is 'Falling away with you' by Muse._

_This chapter is also based on an actual CSI episode: Season 9, episode 2: Leave out all the rest._

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"I've been thinking about us a lot. You know, all the moments. I thought we could survive anything. This trip has given me a lot of clarity. That last year in Vegas, I could hardly breathe let alone think. But...now...for the first time in a very long time I'm...happy"

Watching her on screen, my heart sank. There was something different about her, she seemed to be carrying something, a weight she was about to deploy. _For the first time in a very long time I'm...happy. _What did she mean by that?

_I can't remember when it was good  
moments of happiness elude  
maybe I just misunderstood_

"Before I left, you said something I tried not to hear, but now I think you were right. If a relationship can't move forward, it whithers"

_all of the love we left behind  
watching the flash backs intertwine  
memories I will never find_

I remembered back to the time we were in the office. Hot, uncomfortable tensions had risen. _You need more then the safety of knowing your not alone._ I had foolishly said, to her face, while she was angry and frustrated. I had no idea what was in her mind, only what was in mine. Over the course of her being gone, all I could think was how much I missed her, how much I needed her. After a while, I became angry. Mad she had just abandoned me, annoyed she had not thought about how I would deal with this. I almost found myself questioning her love for me, and mine for her. But deep down I know, I could never simply stop loving her.

My love for her was...is...unconditional.

_so I'll love whatever you become  
and forget the reckless things we've done  
I think our lives have just begun  
I think our lives have just begun_

"I've been waiting for you to decide. But sometimes, not making a decision, is making a decision"

I know its coming. The end, for both of us this time. She left me a while ago, her new life beginning below the equator. Whereas mine, my life was still clinging, still grasping at the life we had shared together, the memories we had created.

_and I'll feel my world crumbling  
I'll feel my life crumbling  
I'll feel my soul crumbling away  
and falling away  
falling away with you_

I need to be with her, as if the video is live, I need her to stop. To stop her before she said it, before she shatters my soul completely. I need to breathe in the same air as her, live in the same environment. But deep down, I know its already too late.

_staying awake to chase a dream  
tasting the air you're breathing in  
I know I won't forget a thing  
_

"Anyway, what I'm trying to say is you don't have to worry about me any more. I'm good. I'm really good, and honestly, I think its better this way."

_Better this way? A feeling of anger ripped through me, although I quickly feel it fading. Soon, its replaced by guilt. I had suspected I was never enough for her, although I never voiced it too her. I never so much told her 'I love you', just sweet talk with the use of Shakespeare. Was this my fault? Was I never enough? _

_I wish more then ever I could be near her now, to hold her, cherish the moments, the memories created. The love we share...now seemingly unrequited. I would promise her everything, the world and more._

_promise to hold you close and pray  
watching the fantasies decay  
nothing will ever stay the same  
_

_I stood, leaving the monitor, switching it off by the plug socket. Grabbing my coat, I left the lab, without saying a word to anyone. I climbed into my car, twisting the key, causing it to roar into life. The heavy beating on the vehicle made me notice, for the first time, that is was raining outside. I sighed, driving out of the car park. I keep driving, just driving, acting as though I don't know where I'm going, but my soul does._

"Does Sara know you're here" She greets me, at the door, still dressed even at this hour. Her hair flowing down her back, eyes ready and alert. She already knows the answer, she asks anyway.

"No"

"Am I your secret"

"No, and you're not my therapist" I snap back, then metally kick myself when she turns away, appearing to be hurt.

"Where's Sara" I don't know how to answer that question, so instead, I pretend to be deaf. It doesn't matter where Sara is, the only thing that matters, is that she isn't with me. "Do you regret your decision not to go with her?" She continues, being my therapist, although I wish she wasn't.

_all of the love we threw away  
all of the hopes we cherished fade  
making the same mistakes again  
making the same mistakes again_

"It was beyond my control"

"Really?"

"Most relationships are over before they end. But its still a death, you morn the loss. You have conflicting emotions. But often times, there is a sense of relief. We have all experienced it, but no one wants to admit it." That statement stung, a burn deep in my being. I understood what she meant completely, I only wondered if she felt more relief then sadness.

"I didn't say the relationship was over"

"You didn't have to. Not making a decision was your decision." It was as though she was quoting Sara herself.

_I can feel my world crumbling  
I can feel my life crumbling  
I can feel my soul crumbling away  
and falling away  
falling away with you_

"I think your here because its not home. Its not work. This is the only place that does not remind you of Sara" It occurred to me that Heather knows me all too well. I looked up at her, her eyes understanding mine perfectly.

I curled up on the bed in the guest room, feeling as though the tears could fall freely. I could feel her presence behind me, could feel her scanning me as she stood there. I just need someone. "Heather, would you stay?" My voice croaks out, alien even to me. Even with Heather by my side, there is only one woman I think of. My beautiful Sara.

_all of the love we've left behind  
watching the flash backs intertwine  
memories I will never find  
memories I will never find._

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_Yeah, this one was a little sad. Well...what do you think. Should I continue? Reviews are loved, thank you!_


	7. Glitter in the air

**Authors note:** _The beginning is set after the events of 'The two Mrs. Grissoms'_

_Enjoy!_

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I splayed out in the large bed, all my myself, twiddling my wedding ring slowly. It had been months since I had seen Gil, he was all I could think of. The meeting with his mother today had only reminded me how I did not have the luxury of simply greeting my husband when he arrived from work, or sharing a bed with him at night. I wished things were different, that I had never left, that the ghosts had not become too much. Although, I couldn't erase my past...I may never have become a CSI..or have met Gil for that matter.

I turned onto my side, listening to the gentle tapping of the rain upon my window. I closed my eyes, thinking back to our wedding night, in Paris.

_Have you ever fed a lover with just your hands?  
Closed your eyes and trusted, just trusted?_

_Have you ever thrown a fist full of glitter in the air?  
Have you ever looked fear in the face and said, "I just don't care"?  
_

"Oh honey, that tastes...amazing" Gil's voice was muffled as I hand fed him a slice of our wedding cake. It was a two-tiered vanilla cake, simple yet elegant, as our wedding had been. I was splayed over the royal blue Egyptian silk sheets on the bed in our apartment room, next to my new husband. It had been around six hours since the official 'I do's.' I giggled at him as I spread frosting over his face, then set the plate aside. He pushed me, pinned me to the bed and smothered my face with his, sharing the ivory frosting.

"How does it feel being Mrs. Grissom m'lady?" He grinned, pushing a few stray hairs behind my ears.

"I feel better now then I was this morning, that's for sure"

"Why?" He inquired, concern washing over his features "What was wrong this morning?"

" I was just so nervous...I wanted to make sure I was..." I paused, looking around, searching for the correct words. "I wanted to be..perfect for you"

Gil only chuckled at that last statement. "Oh baby, you are perfect. In every way...oh..wait..." He reached up and pulled something from my hair. He glanced down at it in the broad palm of his hand, then gestured for me to look at it. Small pieces of glitter confetti coated his pink skin. "You even have a special sparkly coating" He grinned, leaning over and sealing his lips with mine. The kiss was sweet, loving. He gently pinned me down again, the kiss deepening into a passionate, lust filled embrace.

When we finally broke away, Gil seemed to ponder something for a few moments. "-so how did you overcome your nervousness and make it to me in time?"

I pushed him, landing on top, straddling him. Gil's face was a mixture of excitement and shock. "I'll tell you that when I return from the bathroom Mr"

_It's only half past, the point of no return_  
_The tip of the iceberg_  
_The sun before the burn_

I look in the acrylic bathroom, gazing in at my reflection. My mind melted into memories as I remembered standing in the same bathroom this morning. Only, I was stood next to a few friends I had made in Costa Rica, Susan and Grace, clad in my cream wedding dress. It was strapless, a little tight on top although it did not show too much. The dress flowed a little, having a beaded design beginning at my left hip, and spreading onto the main body of the skirt. My hair had been tied into a loose up-do, a few curls free falling. I strode through the room, glanced at the clock. 1:30. I was due to get married in an hour.

Now, seven hours since I was stood panicking, I finished up in the bathroom quickly. Before leaving, I smiled at my glowing reflection, eager to return to Gil. I resumed my old spot next to Gil, noticing the TV was now on, a black and white movie flashed across the screen. "What you watching?" I questioned.

"Oh God knows. Its not important now anyway" He reached over, resting his hand on my thigh, gently caressing it.

"I remembered something my mother had said before, when I was naïve and young"

Gil nodded slowly, "The young I can understand, but you..being naïve...not knowing something..now that's rare" He chuckled, wrapping his arms around me. "Anyway, what did she say?"  
"I remember...being a little girl. She was making something for dinner I suppose. Anywho, I asked her about marriage. I wanted to know what it was like to be married, and if she thought I would like it." A pregnant pause followed as I gathered my thoughts "Bearing in mind, at this point my father wasn't so..."

"Hands on?" Gil completed, when I couldn't.

"Yeah, that's a good way to put it. She said to me- 'well Sara, being married, its like the best part of a relationship...the tip of the iceberg."

"Is that before or after it attacks the cruise line you're happy sailing on?" Gil caught my eye, grinning at grin I knew all too well.

_The thunder before the lightning  
The breath before the phrase  
Have you ever felt this way?_

Not thirty minutes later, we first heard the crack of thunder whip across the darkened sky. We sat, silently counting the seconds until the awaited lightening illuminated the room. I counted between eight and nine seconds. Gil jumped up from the bed, walking into the kitchen, while I stood, stretched then padded to the nearby bay window. I felt warmth spread on my back when Gil came up behind me. "Here" He notioned, passing me a wine glass full to the brim of deep burgundy wine. I kissed him a thank you, then rested in his arms as we watched the thunder, followed by lightening. "When was the last time you saw a thunder storm?"

"When I was in Vegas and you were in Paris. You couldn't get through to me on the phone because of it."

Gil turned, a brow raised. "You either have a good memory or your hiding something."

_Have you ever hated yourself for staring at the phone?_  
_You're whole life waiting on the ring to prove you're not alone_  
_Have you ever been touched so gently you had to cry?_  
_Have you ever invited a stranger to come inside?_

"Well, I had a hard day. I just missed you so much, work was so demanding. All I wanted was to hear your voice once before I fell asleep." I finished, reaching for the wine. The strong taste burned through me, soothing me instantly. "Of course, I would have preferred you being with me, your gentle caresses send me asleep almost instantly..."

"Sara...I didn't know. You could have called me when the storm had settled. Or in the morning. You can call me whenever you want, you know that"

"I know baby, I just...I don't want to seem like...I don't know...like I'm bugging you"

He set his half drank glass aside, pulling me into a loving embrace. "First of all..I love bugs." This earned a small chuckle on my behalf. He continued - "Second, you could never bug me, feel free. I like it" My head was rested on his chest, and although I could not see it, I could feel him smiling.

_It's only half past the point of oblivion_  
_The hourglass on the table_  
_The walk before the run_  
_The breath before the kiss_  
_And the fear before the flames_  
_Have you ever felt this way?_

At around 10:30, the storm settled and we retreated to the bed once again. We sat with each other, trading kisses, little words of love, just enjoying each others company as we savoured this night together. We both knew it would get harder now. I had to go back to the team, go back to help out after leaving a two-man whole in the family. Gil had been offered a job lecturing, and was awaiting a research grant to be funded. We were going to be split again, our time would be limited. I loved Paris, although it was different when I was with Gil.

_There you are, sitting in the garden_  
_Clutching my coffee,_  
_Calling me sugar_  
_You called me sugar_

In Paris we often walked along the shops, hand in hand, just enjoying each others time. We had a common passion for sight seeing. We often took Hank and toured the city, a little trio. I remembered when we first arrived in Paris together, the weekend we spent in Louvre alone. The works of art and displays had enchanted me, Gil even bought me a sample piece, which was now hung above the mantle. We also loved the French culture. Picnics under the Eiffel tower, Ice creams at Notre-Dame, legendary jazz scenes and trying to figure out the impressionists on the small street corners. Paris seemed to be full of enrichment, music, dazzling culture, which took ones fascination to new heights. I know understood why its called the city of love.

"Hmm...want to go get a coffee and sit outside, baby?"

"Outside?" I turned to him, a little confused "Its 10:45?"

"So..Its also our wedding night...I want to enjoy it" He grinned at me.

"Yeah, sounds good. I'll get some blankets" I swung my legs over the edge of the bed, while he left towards the kitchen once more, taking the empty wine glasses and bottle with him. I gathered a few large blankets from the storage room and proceeded down the corridor, passed the kitchen and Gil stood by the counter, towards the back door.

"See you out there" I called as I passed, only to be replied with a lopsided smile. The cold frigid air hit me harshly at first as I made my way to the swinging wooden bench. Soon after, I felt the bench shift slightly with Gil's added weight. He was clutching two steaming coffees, offering one to me.

"Here you go...sugar" He finished with a wink.

"Gil..." I began "You are so damn cheesy"  
_  
Have you ever wished for an endless night?  
Lassoed the moon and the stars and pulled that rope tight?  
_

I sat with my back against his chest, his arms around me, like he was a breathing chair. We didn't need the blanket, but we kept it anyway. It added a sense of intimacy we both enjoyed.

"I wish I could do that thing that he does in Bruce Almighty"

"You mean...bringing the moon closer?" I looked at his darkened face over my shoulder, the only light being the natural moonlight.

"Yeah, its romantic"

"So is this" I giggled, as I felt his hands move to tickle me "No Gil...hey...stop!" I gasped in between bursts of laughter. "Giiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiil!"

"Okay, okay. I'll stop" He grinned at me when I playfully slapped him. We settled back into our previous positions.

"I love Paris so much" I stated suddenly, disturbing the silence.

"Its great isn't it?"

"Yeah, but I do miss the gang...and Vegas believe it or not. It is still home to me..."

"Why is that?"

"That's were our friends are, your mother is and where we fell in love. We are supposed to be there"

Gil was silent for a few moments, then whispered "Well...I fell in love with you when I first saw you..."

"Oh baby, that's true. Well, Vegas is where we got engaged."

"But Paris is where we married"

"You're just confusing things"

"Hmm...I won't confuse them any more...otherwise my mother would complain" He held me closer as I glanced at him once more.

"What do you mean" I inquired.

"Well...I think we should start off in Vegas-"

"-Start what-"

"-but keep a small apartment over here..in Paris..you know..so we could visit every year or so..its a great place to bring up children..." His voice trailed off at that last part.

"Children...? Gil you have a great way of asking life changing questions..that's for sure." I leaned against him, the thought of children swirling around my mind. " 'You know, maybe we should get married'" I muttered to myself before continuing. "Most people get down on one knee and propose, not casually mention it in conversations" I teased.

"You didn't complain baby. Especially when we ermm...celebrated later on..." He traced a line along my skin as I shivered slightly. I turned back, pecked his cheeks, neck and lips, then pulled away.

"Yes" I simply whispered against his lips. "Let's do it...lets have a baby" The corners of Gil's eyes creased up when he laughed, holding me tighter then before. He pressed his lips against mine, embracing the tender moment.

"That should get my mother off my case for the time being" Gil murmured.  
"What?"

"Ermm...nothing baby. Lets just say...she thinks you would make a great mum" He finished with a shrug, a smile on his face. I just chuckled, warm in his embrace as we looked up at the night sky.

_Have you ever held your breath and asked yourself will it ever get better than tonight?  
Tonight  
_

A single tear slid down my cheek as I curled over, holding a pillow to my stomach. I wondered if he thought about me, about our plans for the future. _Our baby. _I reached down, placing a hand on my stomach, feeling a void. I needed him here, he must know that. I sank back into the centre of the bed, almost feeling Gil's arm engulf me, although I knew he was not there. I closed my eyes, wondering when he would finally come back.

_Have you ever held your breath and asked yourself will it ever get better than tonight?  
Tonight _

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_Sorry for another sad one, but next one will be happy don't worry! Reviews please, thank you!_


	8. Here I am

**Authors note: **_So so so sorry it took so long. I haven't been able to write, I've been preparing for prom and for exams. _

_I would also like to thank you all for the reviews, favourites and subscriptions! They mean alot, thank you. Anyway, I hope you didn't mind the wait. Here you go!_

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_Here I am  
This is me  
There's nowhere else on earth I'd rather be  
Here I am  
It's just me and you  
Tonight we make our dreams come true_

"Who is Watson without Sherlock Holmes?"

"Watson was a genius in his own right. It is the right time for me to go."

"Okay."

With that, Hodges turned and left my office. I had told the team I was leaving a couple of short weeks ago, the pain still burning fresh present in each of their eyes. The office had the familiar scent as that bombarded me as I walked in, a scent which had become second nature to me over the years. I couldn't quite name it, although it was a cross between piny wood and a spiced apple type smell.

The walls were stripped naked, the photos and the arachnids and other small insects, their notched bodies encased in glass tombs. Each item had been placed in cardboard boxes, ready for transportation. Greg and Nick had even helped me packing earlier, in silence as they mourned the loss of a tutor, a leader, an old friend. I would miss them, but I knew, within my true depths, where I belonged.

_It's a new world  
It's a new start  
It's alive with the beating of young hearts  
It's a new day  
It's a new plan  
I've been waiting for you  
Here I am  
_

I paused to pick up a small piece of strayed paper from the desk. 'Warrick Brown. 1971-2008' it read. I felt a pang of guilt and loss as I looked at the beautiful white lilies on the front cover. Sara loved snow white lilies. I was able to spend the time with my beautiful wife, unlike Warrick. A sigh left my heaved chest as I stopped, reflecting on all the events in the past couple of years. Most of it seemed to pass in a blur, a mosaic of colours.

My being was sucked back into the present. The corner of my mouth curled north as I glanced around at the lab, somewhere that had become almost too familiar.

_Here we are  
We've just begun  
And after all this time  
Our time has come  
Yeah here we are  
Still going strong  
Right here in the place where we belong_

I strode down the corridors, watching the ensemble of the team I had created over the years, the memories lapping over me as I ploughed throughout everyone. The explosions, crazy suspects, terrifying murders, misunderstood situations, bomb threats, uncover missions. All of them slipped in and out of my mind. Nonetheless, one thing stood out as I admired the family that had been created, the lives intertwined. I passed the wall I once held Sara against, during a case of invisible evidence. The processing room my team almost inhabited when we fought hard for Nick buried deep underground. The break room, where Nick and Warrick would often bet on the latest games, or Greg attempting to eat potted noodles.

My short tour of the lab soon came to a close, upon finding Brass and Catherine in the break room. They had both been loyal partners, old friends I could rely on. I realised I had witnessed numerous losses during my time at the crime lab. I also realised that life had to go on, and I needed to share mine with her, my Sara. Catherine caught my eye, nodding and offering a wink. I smiled at the small, but secure gesture, accepting it was my time to go.

_Oh it's a new world_  
_It's a new start_  
_It's alive with the beating of young hearts_  
_It's a new day_  
_And a new plan_  
_I've been waiting for you_  
_Here I am_

The heat of the Costa Rican rainforest prickled my senses. The solid crinkles of mud crunched slightly under my feet. I held up my GPS, hoping to get some sort of vague idea as to where I was. The tall greenery held me captive from the sun as I continued, making my way through the forest quickly, but cautiously. The detestable clicking from nearby drew my attention to a medium sized cricket, perched on a out stretched leaf. I peered over at it, tempted to fulfil the instinct I had of preserving the insect, observing it. I merely shook my grinning head, battling on throughout the greens and browns of the forest.

The path I was treading along soon became more prominent, a parting of the lush greenery appeared along with this. The parting spread into an opening. I stopped dead in my tracks taking in the new surroundings. The small tent to my left, open to the few people around. The area was surrounded by a fence of trees, standing guard. Then, I saw her. She had her back to be, camera aimed upwards, photographing a spider monkey in its natural habitat, as it should be. She got closer as I took a few steps towards her, hypnotised by the brunette ahead of me. My chest heaved as I let slip a strained sigh.

She turned, her orbs falling upon me for the first time. I stood, sweltered, filthy and so completely in love. Her face moulded into that of sheer disbelief, even as I slowly padded closer.

_Here I am_  
_This is me_  
_There's nowhere else on earth I'd rather be_  
_Here I am_  
_It's just me and you_  
_Tonight we make our dreams come true_

I quickened my pace, almost running to her, ditching the bag on the dirty ground. She smiled as I sped up, my arms already outstretched, eagerly awaiting her tender embrace. I felt her arms snake around me as I pulled her to me. Her scent, intoxicating as I pressed my lips against hers, the tender flesh of our lips being claimed by each other. The world did not seem to matter in that pinpointed moment. Everything slowed to a halt. Timeless moments passed us by.

_Oh it's a new world  
It's a new start  
It's alive with the beating of young hearts  
It's a new day  
It's a new plan  
I've been waiting for you_

We broke apart, a grin setting on her flushed face almost immediately. "I missed you" I almost whimpered as I held her against me once more. I yearned for the familiar warmth her body brought me.

"I can tell" She replied playfully, as she kissed me once more. The kiss was sweet, although deepened into lust-filled passion.

"What are you doing out here Gil? How did you find me?" She groaned as she laid her head against the nape of my neck.

"Does it matter? I just wanted...needed to be with you" I placed my hand beneath the smoothness of her chin, lifting her head slightly to melt into her chocolate orbs. "I feel I have loved you forever" I grinned at her visibly flushing as I quoted her.

"Come on" Sara nodded slightly towards the opened tent, mischief in her eyes.  
_  
Here I am  
Right next to you  
Suddenly the world is all brand new_

We laid, side by side in the small tent. Her now exhausted body pressed against mine slightly, moulding into each other perfectly. Her hair splayed over my chest as she listened to my steady heartbeat. The thin fabric splitting us from the miraculous wonders of the rainforest. "What is going to happen now Gil?" She tilted her head her head to see me. I sighed, my fingers playing with a thick lock of her hair.

"I don't know. I just know it will be better from now on"  
"How can you be so sure, honey?"

"Because...I'm here now."

I heard a small giggle fill the tent as I pulled her closer. "Now there is nothing standing in our way" She whispered as she sealed her lips against mine.

_Here I am  
Where I'm gonna stay  
Now there's nothing standing in our way._

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_There you have it...what do you think...? Reviews are appreciated so much, thank you!_


	9. I want you to want me

**Authors note: **_Sorry I took so long with updating! I have been busy, school, two exams this past week etc. Anyway, I am not on study leave, which means although I am not totally free, I can write a little more. Anyway, here we are. Enjoy!_**  
**

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It was a normal Friday night. Both Sara and I had the night off, shift had finished a few hours ago. We were sat on the couch watching one of our favourite black and white movies '_To kill a Mockingbird'. _Beside me, Sara sighed, her shoulders sagging as she snuggled closer to me. "What's up my dear?"

"I would love to have my very own Atticus..." Sara murmured sleepily.

I turned to her, eyes widened. "Well...what about your very own Gil?" I whimpered, cocking my head and trying to look cute. She giggled as she leaned over, pecking me on the lips quickly.

"Even better" She mouthed as she leaned in once more.

The dial of the phone screeched beside us, interrupting us. I heard her groan in protest as I pulled away, twisting towards the ringing object. "Hello" I spoke into the mouth piece, trying to ignore the sultry glances I was getting from Sara..although we both know I was not succeeding.

"Gil? Hey" Nick's cheery voice called back. "How about coming out for a few hours? It is a Friday night after all-"

"Don't you think it's a little late to ask..on the spot I mean?"

"Nah..just come out. It will be good for you and Sara...unless your too 'busy'" He noted.

"Nick..don't use sexual innuendo on me..." At this Sara swapped her sultry looks for a more confused one. "Yeah, we will come for a bit. Why not...what could go wrong?"

"Sweet!" Nick cheered, shouting to someone else in his company we were coming, probably Greg or Ray..or both. "We will meet you on the strip in an hour". With that I was met with the dial tone.

"Get some clothes on sweetheart, we are off out"

Exactly one hour later, as promised, I waited on the strip, my hand clasped with Sara's , our fingers intertwined. I looked over at my wife. Her hair cascaded down the sides of her face, hanging loosely around her shoulders. The black dress she had 'just grabbed' hugged her svelte body in all the right places. It went down her everlasting legs, stopping just above the knee. Then she was bare, to her black peep-toe heels. "Damn" I muttered, looking her over once more. She merely winked at me as my eyes wandered.

From behind us, suddenly, we heard a chorus of giddy roars. "Heeeeeeey you guys made it!" Greg's voice called out over the numerous pieces of music from the casinos. Sara grinned as they approached us.

"How's it going big guy?" Catherine grinned at me as she approached.  
"Good.." Then I glanced at Sara, who was getting hugs from the men of the group. "Great actually"

"That's good to hear, for once" Came the reply. Only, it wasn't from Catherine. No, this voice was a little deeper then Catherine's. I turned back to find the blue orbs I was glaring into had now turned into a pool of light green. "Heather" I mouthed. As soon as she saw her, Sara walked over, gripped my hand and cast me a worried look.

"We are going inside then?" Heather nodded towards the nearest club.

"S-sure" I muttered, as she headed off, the men following her with eager eyes. "Catherine? What's she doing here?" I whispered when she was out of ear-shot.

"She wanted to see you and Sara together...plus..her and Ray seem to be getting closer, as friends I mean...and I think she is a lovely woman" I nodded, satisfied. Still, I could not shake the way Sara had reacted. I turned to her. She was watching Catherine, Nick, Heather, Greg, Ray, Brass and Hodges walk into the clubs enterance.

I pulled back a lock of hair, leaned in close to her ear. "Shall I compare thee to a summers day? Thou art more lovely and more temperate, Sara, my dear". This earned me a few giggles, but some concern still shined through. "Sara, I know what you are thinking, I can read you like a book. Don't worry sweetheart. You are the only woman I want. I think of her as a friend only..."

"Yeah, but she has such power over men. She's beautiful, intelligent, quick witted-"

"Yeah, everything you are...although you have something else"

She pondered for a moment, seeming to try and figure out what I meant, then gave up. "and what would that be?"

"My everlasting love"

The music inside the actual club sent vibrations through the speakers, along the flooded ground and into my being, making my body thud with the beat.

"Beers all round then?" Nick offered and, after a few nods of approval, gestured Greg to come help him. Catherine and Ray wasted no time in getting up and dancing...or 'grinding' as they called it. That left me and Sara with Heather and Hodges. _Oh joy. _

"Soooo-" Hodges began.

"No." Sara ended.

I just chuckled at the two of them. To save any more awkwardness between the small group, Nick and Greg returned with the beers, grins spread on their young faces.

"Hey Gris, I heard there is karaoke on tonight..."

"Yeah, Nick was just telling me how great Sara's voice is" Greg gestured to a now blushing Sara "I think you should sing for us!"

"No Greg, never" Sara shook her head, taking a swig of the beer.

"Yeah Sara it will be fun. I think we should do a duet" Heather chimed in unexpectedly. It seems as though I wasn't the only one who was surprised by the sudden invitation. Sara turned to Heather, eyes widened, although she had a small smile on her face. _Maybe they could reconcile..._

As though he could read our minds, one of the club hosts stood up and greeted the party goers, then commented on the large amount of people present. "I would like to say, we have never actually tried karaoke here before...although they say there is a first time for everything!" This was met with a variety of whoops and cheers. "Anyone first up?" He looked about the crowd, a few people jumped about, shouting to him. After a while, he finally picked a young blonde woman, no older then 25, in a short jade green dress.

"Dance with me, Mr Grissom?" I followed the direction of the voice to find my wife, stood by my side.

"Of course, Mrs Grissom" I grinned. I loved calling her that and she knew it.

While we danced, a variety of sing-alongs came on, including _I will survive, I don't want to miss a thing, I like it _and _Sexy back. _"Not my type of music.." I whispered to Sara's ear. Her back was too me, although, she had the length of her body pressed against mine.

"What? Enrique Iglesias not as good as The Carpenters?"

Just then, interrupting the sensual dance Sara was portraying, another song started.

"Yey, more karaoke!" Greg fist punched the air as he playfully shoved Nick.

"Want to go get a drink and sit for a few moments?" Sara turned to me.

Once we had returned, I looked up at the small stage, realising Heather was stood in the centre, microphone to her lips. "What is she doing up there-" Sara started, but was interrupted by the strong voice filling the room.

"_I want you to want me.  
I need you to need me."_

While she sang, she locked her eyes with mine, seemingly speaking though music. Sara did not fail to catch on. "Oh no she didn't!" Sara yelped, throwing her drink down and standing quickly.

"Sara!" I tried, but she turned, casting me a glare, and continued walking. I sat back down, losing my wife to the grinding crowd. Once again, my eyes turned to the stage, and the woman on it.

_"I'd love you to love me.  
I'm beggin' you to beg me." _

Her eyes narrowed on mine, this time she stepped forwards, as though she wanted to come to me. However, she stopped just short of the crowd below her. I prepared myself for the next verse.

"What...Sara?" Nick clapped as my wife joined Heather centre stage, clasping a microphone nervously. Then, with might, she sang aloud:

"I want you to want me.  
I need you to need me."  
I'd love you to love me.  
I'll shine up the old brown shoes, put on a brand-new shirt.  
I'll get home early from work if you say that you love me."

Heather advanced towards Sara, pushing her away as she stole the next verse, earning a few toxic glares from the younger brunette.

_"Didn't I, didn't I, didn't I see you cryin'?  
Oh, didn't I, didn't I, didn't I see you cryin'?  
Feelin' all alone without a friend, you know you feel like dyin'.  
Oh, didn't I, didn't I, didn't I see you cryin'?"  
_

At this point, I didn't know what to do. Whether to get up and stop them both, or allow them to continue. Nick, Greg, Ray, Catherine and Hodges had all returned to their seats by this point, watching the musical battle between the women.

"Two women using song to fight for your love? How do you do it?" Greg inquired.

"Yeah, you need to teach us your ways" Nick nudged Greg, grinning as he watched Sara, commenting on how he 'told us she was a good singer'.

They continued, both pushing and shoving for centre stage. If one did get in the middle, the other pushed her out the way before she could finish a mere few lines. In the end, they sang together, each of them trying to out do the others voice.

"I want you to want me.  
I need you to need me.  
I'd love you to love me.  
I'm beggin' you to beg me."

I couldn't ignore the look in Sara's eyes. What I saw was pure defience, a fire burning so true and harsh, it seemed unstoppable. I watched in awe as they continued.

"_I want you to want me."_

"_I want you to want me."_

"_I want you to want me."_

"_I want you to want me."_

By the end, both women seemed exhausted, Sara looking slightly embarrassed as the group of dancers cheered them off the stage.

"Well..that was fun" Heather said lightly, turning to Sara and offering a hug. Sara nodded silently and accepted.

I stood to greet her. "Hey, you do sing pretty well" I grinned, laughing at how she suddenly flushed.

"Don't. I hate singing out loud"

"Then why did you just do that then?"

She raised her head, kissed my lips before answering. "Because...your my baby, and I would gladly fight for you, any time, any place."

I laughed, kissing her forehead. "Another round of karaoke for me again?"

"Again? Oh screw that, I can't be assed"

* * *

_Well, what do you think? Reviews are loved so much, thank you!_


	10. Just around the riverbend

**Authors note: **_Wow! I'm back. Sorry I took way too long to update, but thank you for all the reviews, favorites and general support. I'm going to try and get back to writing more. Thank you once again, I hope you like it._

_By the way, I got inspiration for this chapter from what Sara mentioned to Ray in episode 10x14, about her honeymoon, canoeing. I just filled in the details, enjoy!_

* * *

_What I love most about rivers is:  
You can't step in the same river twice  
The water's always changing, always flowing  
But people, I guess, can't live like that_

I sat peacefully in the thin boat, the gentle waves slowly lapping at the dark jade sides, caressing the hard material. The river rushed by, but the boat defied the elements, staying passively stationary. The sounds of the rushing water, the gurgles as some of it sank beneath the canoe. The distant squeaky calls of the toucan birds echoed from the nearby emerald islands, the burnt orange sun slowly descending in between the peaks. "The bird of paradise" She murmured ahead of me, still taking in the scenery. "I still can't believe you brought me here.." Now she turned, her deep eyes flirting with mine as she gingerly crept to the back of the canoe.

"It was definitely worth it...you were definitely worth it" I grinned as she sat in the small space between my legs and rested her back on my chest, turning her head a little to allow access to her neck. "Its beautiful, isn't it?"

_We all must pay a price  
To be safe, we lose our chance of ever knowing  
What's around the riverbend  
Waiting just around the riverbend_

"Remember our first date?" Sara casually said, while lazying stretching her arm over the side to play with the crystal water.

"How could I forget? You in that cute little black dress...you looked amazing."

"No, not what I was wearing, I mean the actual date" She turned to me, still playing with the water, but now casting me a humoured look.

"Yeah, it was the start of our relationship, how could I forget?" She stayed silent for a while, contemplating something. "You wanted to say something dear?".

"Well...remember how nervous you were?" I nodded before she continued. "Was that nerves over been seen with me and losing your job or-"

"The date. I was worried you would find me boring or not good enough or something else. I spent hours on my look and-"

Within seconds she stopped playing with the water and flipped over, her hands now on my chest and her eyes flicking between each of mine. "You did? I didn't know...you didn't mention concern for your look..."

"Well I'm a guy...it would be unmanly to admit that...especially on a first date." I chuckled to relieve some built up embarrassment. "Truth is Sara, I took a risk. Something I feared I would regret, something I thought would ruin my career and yours. I was scared, but I took it"

"And..? Do you regret it?"

_I look once more_  
_Just around the riverbend_  
_Beyond the shore_  
_Where the gulls fly free_

I looked past her, to the raging waters free falling over the edge of the waterfall. The foam it created at the bottom dispersing into a clear teal liquid. "I only regret...not asking you out sooner" I looked back, into her eyes. Now filled with something else I could not place, but it was soon gone. A smile stretched across her face, pumping her cheeks up as she reached forwards, wrapping her bare arms around me. "You should have known really, I can't keep my eyes off you". She laughed, her body shaking a little against mine. When she had settled back into her old position against my chest, she began playing with the water once more.

I glanced over the water, suddenly thinking about my mother. Her, and her interrogation over Skype, concerning a specific brunette. _What is she like? Can I meet her? Have you talked about children yet? How many are you thinking about having and when? _He remembered her signing to him. He tried to keep up with her enquiries, a little scared with the thought of children. _should I bring that up? Or will she do it for me? _Gil pondered while watching the tropical gulls fly over them. Some arching, diving into the unknown, then pushing out once more with a floundering fish caught between their thick beaks.

"Gil! Jam pot!" She suddenly squeaked, rousing me from my day slumber. She leaned forward as I passed her a jam pot, scooping some of the water from the river. Excited, she gestured for me to examine her findings.

A mocha brown shiny dot skimmed the waters surface. "Urmm...a water beetle...looks like the popular scavenger..._hydrophilidae_?"

"Yeah honey, well done. We'll make an entomologist out of you yet!" I placed a lid on the jar, setting it aside before welcoming her back into my arms. "Good eye by the way"_  
_

_Don't know what for  
What I dream the day might send  
Just around the riverbend  
For me  
Coming for me_

She giggled "An entomologist? Me? Yeah, for some reason I prefer zoology..."

"You would..your so passionate about animals. I would have loved to share a bug-love with somebody though..."

"Well...maybe you can share that passion with your son" She looked over the river, acting as though the words she had just said had never even reached her rosy lips.

"Wha?"

"You know...a son? Like you but smaller?" She turned to me, her eyes wide as she glanced up. Uh oh...the 'cute Sara' look.

"A baby? Us...and a baby? Like...us becoming parents...baby?"

"Wow, how many times can you say it in the same sentence?" She grinned, placing her hand over mine, interlocking her slender fingers with mine. Our white gold rings rubbing against each other. "It was just a thought, you know?"

"Well...that's a big thought Sara...you know how to give a man a heart attack."

_I feel it there beyond those trees  
Or right behind these waterfalls  
Can I ignore that sound of distant drumming  
For a handsome sturdy husband  
Who builds handsome sturdy walls  
And never dreams that something might be coming?  
Just around the riverbend  
Just around the riverbend_

"Well..." Sara questioned, further examining the bugs we collected earlier. A few more beetles, a water spider and even a green winged dragonfly.

"Well what?"

"You have been silent ever since I brought it up..what are you thinking about?" I hesitated, not sure how to answer. "Tell me the truth Gil, I want to know what you are thinking.."

"Well...I have thought about children before...having my own son to teach baseball or a daughter to protect all the bad guys from. It just seems scary when you actually mention it". She placed the jar down steadily, then moved to sit in front of me, her eyes now distant. "Sara? Are you okay?"  
"Its just..." She began, looking down, then up, continuing. "I've been thinking about children a lot recently...I don't know..I just feel as though my body is trying to tell me something..."

"To have a baby?"

"..yeah."

_I look once more_  
_Just around the riverbend_  
_Beyond the shore_  
_Somewhere past the sea_

I did what I did best. As a scientist, I looked over the situation once more. "Sara" I began, ending with a sigh. "I would love to have a baby..but I just don't think now is a good time..."

"Well...I didn't mean now, Gil" She smiled a little, cocking her head as she waited for me to continue.

"I mean, I want to be settled and financially stable before starting a family..." She nodded. "You're okay with that...aren't you?"

"Yeah, of course. We need to talk about this more, properly. But for now, lets enjoy our honeymoon." She grinned, leaning over and pressing her firm lips against mine. I groaned, enjoying the feel of her. Slowly, she moved forwards, getting closer and closer to me. She moved onto my neck, nipping at the skin, moaning as she made me squirm slightly. "Sara, dear, we are in public" I weakly protested as she began rubbing her hips against mine. "Come on..its not...advised."

She paused. Looking around she smirked- "Well...I can't see anybody. Come on...its our honeymoon..you only have them once.." She pouted, cocking her head once more.

"You know I can't fight when you do that look". She laughed softly, pulling me back into the main body of the canoe. "Tight fit" I regarded as I began kissing the nape of her neck, my hands trailing down her vest top clad torso. I smiled against her skin as she groaned my name gently._  
_

_Don't know what for ...  
Why do all my dreams extend  
Just around the riverbend?  
Just around the riverbend ...  
Should I choose the smoothest curve  
Steady as the beating drum?  
Is all my dreaming at an end?_

I splayed out next to my wife, the newest Mrs Grissom, glancing up at the sky. "Well, at least now I will get an all over tan.." Sara laughed. I turned onto my side, placing my hand on her flattened stomach. _Imagine it swollen, with our baby inside...our baby. _

"Pretty weird huh?" Sara breathed as I realised I had said that out loud.

"Yeah..beautiful too". I looked at her, on her back with her bare skin being caressed by the last of the loving sun. Hair splayed, some matted to her head from the efforts of our slow, passionate love making. Her skin flushed slightly, she had a peaceful look about her. "So beautiful" I repeated as I pulled her close.

We waited, watched as the sun turned into night. The stars burning moth holes in the dark cape of the night. I felt small volcanoes rise on her skin. "Better get you covered up, your getting cold" I sat up to grab a blanket nearby, but she stopped me.

"No, wait a little. I like this...right now" I laid back, pulling her close, inside the small canoe. She rested against me, her breathing slowing down, I knew she was falling asleep. "I love canoeing".

"I bet you do" I grinned, tracing lines along her skin.  
"We should come back here again sometime...I love it"

"We will, I promise"

I held her until she fell into a sweet slumber, pressed against my chest. Cradling her and listening to the gentle rushing water, the gushing of the water fall. I could see a little, and I knew I would have to get back to land soon, but for the time being I would stay. "I love you, Sara Grissom". I whispered into her hair while she slept. She didn't speak back, but I didn't fear. For I knew what we didn't say, our hearts would sing._  
_

_Or do you still wait for me, Dream Giver  
Just around the riverbend?_

* * *

_Thank you for being so patient! Well? What do you think? I'm a little stuck with song choice for J, but I did my best. Reviews are much appreciated, thank you!_

___Another note! I want to remind people I am a BETA reader, and am open to accept requests. Just private message me, and I will get back to you. Thanks!_


	11. Kiss the girl

**Author's note: **_So sorry for taking so long. I have been so busy recently..Enjoy!_

**Song: **_Kiss the girl - The little mermaid._

* * *

It had almost been a week. A week since the big argument between Gil and Sara. They all saw it too. The lab techs. The CSI's. The supervisors. Even Ecklie had been on side when the two had gone head to head in the public corridor.

"Well, why can't we just do something this weekend then?" Sara had casually enquired as the two were walking down the hall together.  
"Because, I have work to do. Plus, we are going to that charity event next week. That counts as going out."

"Ergh. I am sick of you and your work, Gil. I never see you, you're always stuck in your office or here at the lab. And, it's a charity event, not exactly intimate"

"Sara...you know my work keeps me here a lot. I can't he-"

"Don't you dare say 'I can't help it'!" Sara threw the first yell, causing a few nearby heads to turn.

"Hey! What do you want me to say? I can't help it honey, I just-"

"Don't you honey me!"

"Don't you interrupt me!" Gil shouted, louder then Sara this time, even stopping dead in his tracks for emphasis. A few whispers were heard, but neither of them stopped to listen. They were too focused on each other.

"Don't yell at me!"

"You're doing that right now?"

"How do you expect me to react Grissom?" Gil notably winced at this, knowing she only ever called his Grissom if she was livid at him.

"The same as usual by the looks of it!" This one earned a few gasps from the by standers.

"Right, you have really pissed me off" Sara jabbed a finger into his chest and began power walking away before she yelled back. "Don't even bother coming home, their won't be anywhere to sleep!"

"Don't want to sleep in the same bed as a psycho anyway!" Gil screamed, but then regretted it. It was obvious in his eyes. Sara on the other hand, turned, casting him a stare, as she stood there stunned.

"You know what Grissom? You can be a real ass sometimes" She whispered, then walked away, tears brimming at her eyelids.

A week later and the two still hadn't spoken properly. The team sat in the break room, minus Grissom who was working and Sara who was off for the day.

Nick was the first to speak up. "Look, guys, he have to do something about this? They haven't spoken in a week-"

"Yeah, that's a century in couple time" Greg agreed as he set down his magazine.

"Well, what can we do about it?" Ray enquired, leaning forwards onto the table.

"You know the charity even tonight?" Nick asked and, after receiving nods from the men, continued. "Well, they will both be attending that"

"Yeah, so will most of the police force and half this lab. What's your point?" Hodges came in, eavesdropping.

"Well...hello David. And if you listened you would find out" Nick brought the men closer before he began whispering his secret plan.

The night began at the Bellagio at around 7 pm. By 7:45, the place was heaving. The team were on the lookout for the couple. "How are we supposed to find Grissom? All the men look the same" Greg pointed at, looking amongst the tuxedo clad men.

"You know Griss. He will go for something different, just because...well...it's Grissom" Nick responded.

Sure enough, Gil showed up a few moments later, in a royal blue court suit. Nonetheless, he looked the part as he passed through the crowd, towards Catherine and Brass, who were sat at a table with other important looking people.

Well...we have one half of 'Sarssom'. Where the 'Sar' part?" David enquired.

"Sarssom?" Ray turned to the beaming Hodges.

"Pretty genius right?"

"Ermm...no."

Just at that moment, most of the eyes of the nearby people turned towards the entrance. Sara stood, slightly shy from the attention, but looking stunning. Her hair was pinned up, spare a few strands, the dress she was wearing hugged her perfectly, and trailed to the floor, where it pooled into a royal blue train. Gracefully, she made her way down the stairs, a slit in the dress exposing each long leg in turn for a few seconds, then concealing them once more. Nick looked over to the table once more, to see Gil gaping as he watched his wife ascend, seemingly from the heavens. He swore that he saw Gil mouth 'Wow' as he watched on. Sara made her way, unlike Gil, to the boys, receiving numerous compliments as she did so. As expected, Greg was the first to speak.

"Hot damn Sara! You look amazing!"

"Thanks Greg." She grinned as she leaned forwards to hug him, then the rest in turn.

"Yeah Greg...your tongue is hanging out by the way" Ray taunted as he hugged Sara.

"Listen, guys. Have you seen Gil, I ju-"

"Over there" They all yelled simultaneously, as Sara stood back a little, stunned by the sudden response.  
"Erm...thanks?" She smiled, then walked away to the area where the boys had pointed.

"I hope they are okay" David said. "I'm getting nervous about our plan now"

"Don't worry David, it's plan B"

"Yeah, they could be fine, anyway-" Greg was interrupted by Nicks sighing. Gil and Sara were stood, rather awkwardly, speaking. The annoyance obvious in their eyes. Although what they were saying was inaudible, it didn't look good.

"Looks like it's time for plan B" Ray confirmed.

"Noooo" David reasoned, standing in front of the larger man. "How about we skip to plan C?"

"Hodges.." Nick drew out slowly.

"Okay okay. Plan B it is then" David whined as they made their way to the stage.

"We are still arguing even in public? This isn't good Gil"

"Nothing has been good recently"

"I know" Sara sighed. "You just irritate me so much sometimes"

"What? And you don't think you irritate me?"

"Childish, Gil. Just plain childish."

"Well it's the truth, best face facts. The evi-"

"The evidence doesn't lie huh? I hate that saying. You can't apply it to everything you know?" She flew her arms about as she tried to reason with him.

"Sara, I love you, I really do, but I think we should...take some time out or something"

"Awesome." Sara said quietly, trying to hide the hurt inside.

"Please, Sara" Gil reached out, his instincts telling him to hold the woman he loves so much.

"No Gil, don't touch me" She started walking away, her voice breaking.

"Hey everyone! I wanted to play this for a friend of mine. Mr G." Greg called out over the crowd grabbing everyone's attention.

"Oh God" Gil muttered as he watched on. The music began, flowing into the room as Greg joined the line, in-between Nick and Ray, Hodges on the end.

"Percussion" Hodges whispered.

"Strings" Nick continued.

"Winds" Followed by Greg.

"Words" and finally Ray.

The crowd had turned to the four men, listening intently while Nick began singing.

"There you see her

Sitting there across the way

She don't got a lot to say

But there's something about her"

Gil turned to his wife. She was glancing at the group, a small smile playing up on her face. As he listened, he realised the song was compatible with his relationship. He loved her so much, he just couldn't show it. He keep on admiring her as Nick sang on.

"And you don't know why

But you're dying to try

You wanna kiss the girl" Nick then stepped back, allowing Greg to take centre stage. He was better then most of the people would have thought, even though he listened to his beloved rock, and deafened half the lab as he did so.

"Yes, you want her

Look at her, you know you do

Possible she wants you too

There is one way to ask her

It don't take a word

Not a single word

Go on and kiss the girl"

"Gil? Is 'Mr G' you?" Catherine stood beside him, but didn't take her eyes from the stage. Her deep blue orbs searched along the four men, seemingly amused at the strange ensemble. "I hope not, but I have a sneaky feeling" Gil muttered, sighing heavily. All four of the men then began singing the chorus, as some people joined in, clapping and mouthing some of the words.

"Sha la la la la la

My oh my

Look like the boy too shy

Ain't gonna kiss the girl

Sha la la la la la

Ain't that sad?

Ain't it a shame?

Too bad, he gonna miss the girl"

Then a shy Hodges stepped forward, away from the group, bringing the microphone to his quivering lips. He wiped his brow quickly, then opened his mouth, from where his singing voice flowed.

"Now's your moment

Floating in a blue lagoon

Boy you better do it soon

No time will be better

She don't say a word

And she won't say a word

Until you kiss the girl"

Sara turned to her husband once more, her eyes full of anticipation as he turned at the same time. He smiled uneasily, then began slowly striding over, wringing his hands as he did so. Sara paced towards him, nibbling her lower lip, her eyes drifting up and down her husbands body as she did so.

"Love the band tonight. So...original" Gil grinned as he stood before her.

"It's new talent, what can I say" She giggled as she reached towards his hand, taking it lovingly. Gil glanced down at where they were joined, then up to the beautiful brunette ahead of him.

"It's Ray's moment look" Gil motioned towards the stage where Ray was stood in front of the others, his voice smooth and deep as he sang confidently.

"Oh yeah" She stepped closer to him, almost so they were touching, reaching up to his ear with her lips and whispering huskily, "You think they are trying to tell us something, dear?"

"Sha la la la la la

Don't be scared

You got the mood prepared

Go on and kiss the girl

Sha la la la la la

Don't stop now

Don't try to hide it how

You want to kiss the girl"

"Well, you never know. There could be others in here with the same...problem"

"Problem, Gil? We just had a little spat" Sara seemed hurt.

"Well, we seem to have 'spats' all the time" Gil sighed, feeling one of his mammoth headaches coming on.

"You know I argue with you because I miss you. I want to spend more time with you Gil" Sara held his hand, brought it to her face, kissed it sweetly. "I love you, Gil. I just...I want to be with you, like a husband and wife"

"I know. I love you too...more then anything...everything" He murmured, holding her closer. "Maybe we should take some time off, get away this weekend? I mean, like you wanted to?"

"It's Friday Gil, this weekend has started"

"Well, what are we waiting for? What did you have in mind" He looked down, bringing her face to his by lifting her chin. "Anywhere you like"

In the background, all four of the men began singing the very last parts of the song. Nick, Greg and Hodges stepped forward in line with Ray.

"Sha la la la la la Float along and listen to the song

The song say kiss the girl

Sha la la la la

The music play

Do what the music say

You got to kiss the girl

You've got to kiss the girl

You wanna kiss the girl

You've gotta kiss the girl

Go on and kiss the girl!"

They stood, arms spread in a tradition 'ta-da' pose as they stood, panting, accepting the applause. Nick scanned the group. "Where are they? Do you think it worked?" He enquired as he turned to his on stage friends.

"I'd say so" Hodges chimed in, pointing to the couple below. Sara stood pressed up against Gil, there bodies fitting perfectly. He had his strong arms entombing her gracefully. His fingers dancing through her hair as she gripped the nape of his neck. Their lips pressed together, moving, dancing together as they kissed passionately.

"Damn, Mr G is going in for the kill!" Greg laughed. The rest of the crowd suddenly silenced and turned towards the embracing couple.

"Greg you idiot, you said that into the microphone!" Hodges slapped him playfully as he watched the crowd smiling on at the loved up pair.

Sara pulled back from her husband, lost in the moment to find the eyes of the charity event goers on them. "Ermm Gil?"

"Yeah?...oh" He blushed as he looked around, caught in a unprofessional sensual moment. "I've got an idea, why don't we get out of here...like now?" He asked with unmasked urgency.

She turned to him, gripping his hand and leading him away from the by-standers, who had resumed dancing and socialising. "I thought you'd never ask".

* * *

_What do you think? A little different I know, but there is nothing wrong with trying new things. R&R, thank you very much for the reviews so far!_


	12. Love story

**Authors note: **_New! I hope you all like it, especially after the wait you had to endure. Sorry it is a little dialogish. But, it gets better, believe me. Enjoy reading!_

**Song: **_Love story : Taylor Swift._

* * *

Gil grinned as he opened the main door to his town house, only to be met with beaming smiles and bottles of unopened wine. "Gil!" The team shouted in unison as he was met with hugs and pats on the back.

"Hey guys, glad you could all make it." He stood aside as the large group made their way in. Hank, previously contented on his masters sofa, now raised his head towards the new noise that entered the room. Upon seeing visitors, the boxer leapt from his 'bed'.

"Hank! Hey there little buddy" Nick's smooth Texan accent filled the room as he leaned down to scratch the dog affectionately. "Haven't seen you in a little while, huh?"

After the usual greetings and hugs, the team lounged in the living room, Hank on the floor by Nick's feet, receiving the occasional ear scratch.  
"How has Paris been treating you?" Greg spoke up, chugging his beer.

"Well, you know. The usual" Gil smiled as he wrapped his arm around his slender framed wife. "Just lecturing and trying to find a job"

"Another job?" Catherine blurted. "Jeez, where you taking off to now?"

"I think it's time I settled back with my wife, here in Vegas, with the rest of the family" He rubbed Sara's shoulder as he continued. "As soon as I get a job here, maybe in UNLV, I will be moving back."

The room erupted in a mixture of cheers, Greg jumping up as he cried out. "I knew it! You can't last without me"

"Yeah Greg, your the one he needs" Sara giggled as Greg mopped up some spilt beer from his shirt.

"You know what? You guys never told us how you met!" Nick interjected, grinning mischievously at the very private couple.

"Yeah, there is a reason for that" Gil groaned, turning a pinkish colour. Sara gently tapped his knee as she sat forward, extending to reach for her beer.

"Okay, you really want to know?" Sara looked back at her husband, who just shook his head.

After a silent eye war with his wife, Gil sighed. "I'll start off then.."

_We were both young when I first saw you  
I close my eyes  
And the flashback starts  
I'm standing there  
On a balcony in summer air_

"Well, it all goes back to a hot summer in Berkeley. I was trudging around one of the lecture halls at the San Francisco coroners office, where I was to give a lecture on new developments. Anyway, I waited as my class arrived and began the lecture. All of a sudden, little Miss Sidle here-"

"I prefer Mrs Grissom"

"-walked in late."

"Ohhh Sara. Naughty naughty" Nick wriggled his finger at her.

"I'm telling the story" Gil grinned before continuing. "Anyway, she walked in, wearing these hipsters with her hair pulled up into a ponytail, no make-up"

"Okay Gil, they get it. I looked like a scruff" Said a very pink Sara.

" -and she took my breath away."

_See the lights_  
_See the party, the ball gowns_  
_I see you make your way through the crowd_  
_And say hello, little did I know_

"Awww, Gil. Bless you" Catherine slapped him playfully as Sara blushed. "Anyway, continue. I want to be nosey"

"As per usual.." Brass said, not so quietly.  
"Okay kids, let's not fight. So, I was giving this lecture, well trying to, while Sara kept on asking me questions, anything that came into her head. I didn't see her after class, I thought it would be...weird."

"But, you did find me at the charity event at one of the lecture halls later in the week" Sara drank more beer as she continued. "I was wearing a dress, little black one-"

"Every woman needs one" Catherine once more.

"ANYWAY. I was walking around, when I bumped into 'Dr Grissom' as he was fondly called back then. So, we got on with the usual chit chat. He asked me to dance, but strictly as a student...or whatever his excuse was." Sara shot Gil a mischievous look. 

_That you were Romeo, you were throwing pebbles_  
_And my daddy said stay away from Juliet_  
_And I was crying on the staircase_  
_Begging you please don't go, and I said_

"Well, we were there dancing, then this guy comes over-"

"Tommy"

"Yeah, Tommy the jerk. He comes over and tries to split us up, telling me to stay away from Sara or something." Gil said, trying to hide his anger but failing.

"Tommy liked me at the time, he would protect me from 'the bad guys'. He just wanted what was best for me" Sara explained to the confused group. "Gil made his excuses and left, while I shouted at Tommy for being so insecure, and treating me as though I was his property. I also left too, after the argument. I just hoped I would see Gil again at another lecture."

"Which she did, a few days later actually."

"Oh Gil, what was she wearing this time? Aqua blue nail polish? A white scrunchy?" Nick's sarcasm leaked through.

"Actually, she was wearing French pink nail polish I think, it was more natural...and her hair was curly." Gil smirked at the younger CSI. "That time, I made sure I could see Sara outside of lectures and events. I asked her to meet me the following morning..."

_Romeo take me somewhere we can be alone_  
_I'll be waiting all there's left to do is run_  
_You'll be the prince and I'll be the princess_  
_It's a love story baby just say yes_

The team thanked Catherine and Brass as they came back into the room with a handful of beers each, having asked the couple to pause their 'love story' as they did so. "Okay, we are all set. Let's continue" Brass sat down opposite the couple, next to Catherine.

"Wait...where are the chips?" Greg asked disappointed.

"Oh, for the sake of Pete-" Brass began to stand.

"No, no no. I'll go get them" Greg shouted as he clambered over Nick and Hank on the rug.

"Damn it Greg, watch poor Hank" Nick cuddled the dog protectively. "Him and his damn peanuts" he muttered as he left the room. Everyone else just giggled. After a few moments of clambering in the kitchen, Greg returned with a bowl brimming with crispy chips.

"Okay, all set. Please, continue" Greg offered out the chips as Sara began talking once more.

"Well, you should have seen the place he asked to meet me, in the early hours of the morning too. It was a real 60's style diner, so cute inside. So anyway, we had coffee, discussed stuff, including Tommy from the event...and how much he embarrassed me."

"And Sara asked me to dinner." Gil blurted as Sara paused briefly. "I had to say no"

"What? Gil, you suck!" Catherine practically screamed at him.

"Jeez Cath, there's no need.." Gil murmured, looking a little scared. "Plus, it was in the past..obviously things changed" Gil hugged Sara to him as he smiled thoughtfully.

"He told me we couldn't take our relationship past a professional level."

"and that was the way it stayed, for seven years anyway"

"Seven years? The room erupted as the team cried out in unison.

"Yeah, me and Sara got together six years after she moved to Vegas, seven years after we met altogether." Gil held his wife even tighter.

_So I sneak out to the garden to see you  
We keep quiet 'cause we're dead if they knew  
So close your eyes  
Escape this town for a little while_

"Well, I'm going to fast forward the story a little" Sara interrupted the teams shockwaves. "Gil asked me to move because of Holly, but I also wanted to get away from Frisco. It was getting a little boring there, plus I wanted to see Gil again. I wouldn't have moved for anyone else in all honesty."

"So, who started the relationship?" Brass asked his best friend.

"I did" Gil sighed. "Remember the Harrington case?"

"Oh yeah, guy was shot, hit and run." Nick paused baby talking to Hank.

"Turns out the guy who did it just wanted to use his car. Mr Harrington wouldn't let him, he was on his way to propose to his long time girlfriend." Catherine shook her head in dismay. "Such a sad case to solve."

"Exactly. It was that case that made me realise what I was missing out on with Sara. I didn't want to just want her, I wanted to be with her."

"And he told me that" Sara piped up. "Over dinner the night after. It was sudden, but we talked about us, you guys, our jobs."

"We didn't want to keep it from you, but we had no choice."

"We are sorry guys, I've just realised we never apologised for not telling you all this before" Sara smiled sadly, upset at keeping something so important to her from the people she considered family. Brass reached forward, placing her hand in his.

"It's okay cookie" He assured her. "You can't help falling in love".

_'Cause you were Romeo, I was a scarlet letter_  
_And my daddy said stay away from Juliet_  
_But you were everything to me_  
_I was begging you please don't go and I said_

"I will admit the relationship, or rather the changes that came with it, where a little hard to handle. It made things a little rocky" Gil's eyes fell, he all of a sudden became interested in not being noticed.

"How...rocky, exactly?" Greg asked, sounding worried.

"Well, a relationship is a commitment. We were both really private people, who spent most of our time in the lab, but now we had more time to spend with each other." Sara explained. "We found that the more we were apart, the more we argued about not seeing each other. But because we were so fixed into our own routines, it was difficult."

"So...what made it work then? Because I know I could never be with someone I work with" Nick enquired.

"Was it Gil impersonating Romeo? Poetry and the works?" Greg asked. The gang laughed at his little boy smile and curiosity.

"No Greg. We sat down, worked out what we wanted the most. Our jobs, or each other. I choose Gil, of course."

"I...I had a little trouble" Gil admitted, his eyes to his lap.

"Which led to another argument."  
"Which ended in Sara crying, which tore me up" Gil almost whispered. Sara turned to him, feeling her heart flicker at the emotion he was displaying for her, even in front of his friends. "I told her my job was my life. But, Sara...she is my everything."

_Romeo take me somewhere we can be alone_  
_I'll be waiting all there's left to do is run_  
_You'll be the prince and I'll be the princess_  
_It's a love story baby just say yes_

"After that night everything basically fell into place. Everything was working, perfect."

"Only, it wasn't" Gil looked up for the first time in ages, focusing on controlling his thoughts. The sight of Sara crying on her couch as he sat there speechless when she asked what he wanted still plagued him, even though he would not admit it to her. "We didn't tell you guys, we were afraid of it getting out and everything being ruined."

"We should have told you anyway, I feel that now" Sara looked around at her family, smiling at each of them. "Natalie came along and ruined everything anyway." Sara almost spat venom as she said her name. "We should have told you"

"Sara, Gil. Come on guys. We kinda knew anyway." Catherine eased as she sipped her beer. "We saw the way you both looked at each other. It was damn cute" She grinned as the pair's faces flushed in turn. 

_Romeo save me, they try to tell me how to feel_  
_This love is difficult, but it's real_  
_Don't be afraid, we'll make it out of this mess_  
_It's a love story baby just say yes_  
_Oh oh_

"Natalie was just another obstacle" Gil shrugged, hoping to get off that specific topic. He knew what it did to his precious wife. "We were struggling once more. We were so private, but all of a sudden our lives where open and being questioned by everyone"

"Namely twatface...I mean Ecklie" Sara smirked as the team chuckled. "I always mispronounce his name."

"God, I miss the Sidle sarcasm" Nick chuckled as Hank rolled over at his side.

"I want to hear about the proposal!" Catherine cheered suddenly.

"Yeah, I do too. You never told us about that!" Greg grabbed another handful of chips.

"Where does he put all those?" Brass whispered to Catherine. She only shrugged as she watched him chomp on the crispy snack, then wash it down with some beer.

_I got tired of waiting  
Wondering if you were ever coming around  
My faith in you is fading  
When I met you on the outskirts of town, and I said  
Romeo save me I've been feeling so alone  
I keep waiting for you but you never come  
Is this in my head? I don't know what to think  
He knelt to the ground and pulled out a ring  
And said, marry me Juliet  
You'll never have to be alone  
I love you and that's all I really know  
I talked to your dad, go pick out a white dress  
It's a love story baby just say yes_

"Trust Gil to propose to me on a work day...while at work...in work clothing. Lovely"

"He is just so romantic" Greg clasped his hands and fluttered his eyelids in Gil's direction, who only stared on.

"Well, I liked it" Gil murmured quietly. "It was awesomely nerdy"

"As is everything you do" Brass chuckled.

"Gil was studying colony collapse disorder. I offered to come and help with his little study. So here I am, in this huge bee suit, looking sexy as ever-"

"I bet you were" Greg chuckled.

"Steady Greg..." Gil practically growled.

"Boys!" Catherine yelped. "Sara's talking, come on."

"Anyway!" Sara got her voice about the others. "He was messing with his bees when I arrived. He was telling me about the worker bees, what they do. He told me to take off my glove so I could become more accustomed to the bees. They wouldn't hurt me if I didn't freak out he said. Then...he asked me to marry him."

"She freaked out." Gil laughed at the memory.

"That was your fault the bee stung me. My poor hand" Sara groaned as she held up her right hand, as though the bee had stung her once more.

"Gil, your such a geek" Catherine laughed softly as she imagined the two of them, Gil caring for Sara's wound.

"Then she tried to kiss me with the bee suit on." Gil playfully smirked back at her.

"Hey, you tired to kiss me Mr Grissom" Sara giggled at his doe eyed look.

"So all in all we have been though a lot in our relationship, more then most I suppose."

Sara agreed as she leaned into her husband. "The serial killers, bee stings, the dominatrix, the leaving letters, the break ups"

"The make ups!" Gil jumped in. "The retirement, jungle kissing, globe travelling, French speaking"

"The mother in law" Sara sighed at memories of first meeting Betty. "And ex-girlfriends"

"And everything in between, like the family that supported us." Gil's face was full of pride for his team.

"Jeez, your relationship has been a right episode" Nick sighed at the thought of it.

"Better then disco divas.." Brass chimed in.

"How did you survive all that? I'd need a good vacation or something, or at least a drink!" Greg chuckled.

"Yeah Sara, what's your secret?" Catherine questioned as she took a quick swig of her beer.

"You know what guys? I don't know how we survived it all actually, we just did." Sara turned to her husband.

"We always do" He said as he lovingly planted a kiss on her cheek.

_'Cause we were both young when I first saw you_

* * *

_What do you think guys? Reviews are appreciated, thank you for all the ones so far!_


	13. Make you feel my love

**Title: **_Make you feel my love - Adele_

**Author:**_ Liv'Simply_

**Rating: **_M to be safe._

**Pairing **_Gil G/ Sara S._

**Authors note: **_I warn you now, this one is a little dark in the beginning, sorry if that offends any readers, but I felt it would be good to include._

_Also, the percpective changes from Sara to Gil then Sara once more, just so no one is confused. Happy reading!_

**Summary: **_Sometimes, a little something can turn into a big mistake.._

* * *

_When the rain  
Is blowing in your face  
And the whole world  
Is on your case  
I could offer you  
A warm embrace  
To make you feel my love_

"Sara! Sara where are you, you little bitch" My father's voice racketed throughout the small house as my mother tried to calm him, failing miserably.

"Leave her alone, she is just a child. How is anything her fault?"

"I was late for work this morning because of that little slut. I need a word with her, her and her stupid 'parental consent' slips or whatever that pink thing was" His words were slurred and sarcastic, but threatening nonetheless. "Where is she!" He was closer now, his footsteps crashing down on the stairs as he went. I shivered, my knees brought up to my chest as I sat on the closet floor, hiding.

Some of the light from my bedroom spilled in as my father dragged the door back, staggering as he did so. He reached down, gathered some of my shirt in his fist and lifted me from the ground. "There you are. Can I ask you something Sara?" I merely whimpered as my mother came into the room.

"Please, just leave her alone! She's just a baby" But we all knew her winging was fruitless.

Ignoring her, my father went on, staring directly into my eyes. "Do you piss me off on purpose? Do you like seeing me pissed off?" I hung, almost limp as he spat raw anger into my face. "Answer me you stupid bitch!" He raised his arm, swung. I cried out as the fist connected to my young skin, the flesh splitting as I fell to the ground. I crumpled. Gasping as dizziness took other. I noticed my mother had been knocked to the ground to, probably from a single swing too. She was much frailer now. My father still leered over me. "Well, you didn't answer". He sniggered as he grabbed me once more.

I shuddered, trying to shake the memories of my childhood from my mind. It had been a tough night, I had been assigned to a case concerning the deaths of two parents, their children left alive, but with few bruises. As I had worked the night away, it became more and more clear there was a sinister underlying relationship in the family. The teenage daughter shared no remorse at the sound of her fathers death. Then, Greg found some expensive jewellery in the daughters room, way too expensive to be bought with allowance. Then we found the exact thing I was hoping not to find. A sperm sample in the daughters bed...that belonged to her now deceased father. Not only does this give her motive, but also psychological harm, that can account for her actions.

I sighed as I peered out the window, hoping to distract myself. The rain beat down on the window inches from my face, making it difficult to see. Condensation had formed, making the interior cold. But I was focusing on the thing I had at home. My loving husband, and our big drooling dog. I laughed softly as I thought about the times Hank would jump onto the bed, hoping to join his masters snuggling. We would spend the night, the dog between us snoring, while Gil complained about being covered in drool. "I can't wait" I murmured to none other then myself.

_When the evening shadows  
And the stars appear  
And there is no - one there  
To dry your tears  
I could hold you  
For a million years  
To make you feel my love_

The house was dismal when I returned, Gil gone but Hank asleep on the couch. I wandered around, hanging up my coat, keys and throwing my bag down. I walked into the bedroom, but he wasn't there either and the bed hadn't been slept in. I strode back into the kitchen once more, anger starting to seep through. _He was supposed to be here, we were supposed to spend the evening together. _We had previously made plans to spend some time together this evening, which we both had off. I needed it even more now after my shift.

I turned to the sink, dirty dishes piled up. _He made dinner...for himself? _Now, I was really angry. "How dare he!" I yelped, surprising even myself. I rolled up my sleeves, beginning to clean my absent husbands mess. At this point Hank came down from his 'bed'. He was beside me, his huge eyes glancing up, begging for attention. "I'm sorry I haven't walked you today Hank, I'll take you out tomorrow, okay?" I looked down at the loving boxer. As though he understood he moaned and sulked away to his food bowl.

The sound of the door opening excited Hank as his other master entered the house. That makes one of us. "Here there buddy" I heard Gil behind me, but I didn't turn around.

"Sara?" He walked down the small flight of stairs, into the kitchen area. I ignored him and presumed cleaning the dishes. "Honey, turn around" I stopped, dried my hands then turned to look at him for the first time since this morning. He was dressed casually in jeans and a navy shirt. "Are you angry at me". I just glared at him as I walked away towards the bedroom. "Silent treatment then" I heard him growl, but I ignored my urge to yell at him.

I began to undress, not caring that he was there. I retrieved a green tank top and some of Gil's grey jogging bottoms. They were a little big, but I tied them at the hips, and they were comfy all the same. "Please honey, talk to me. I couldn't help having to go out-"

"Where were you!" I had erupted, and I wasn't prepared to stop. "I had the worst day, I was looking forwards to spending time with you!"

"Sara please, calm down." He gently gripped my shoulders and tried moving me to sit on the bed, but I wouldn't budge.

"Don't tell me to calm down! Answer me, where were you Gil?"

"At Heathers"

_I know you_  
_Haven't made_  
_Your mind up yet_  
_But I would never_  
_Do you wrong_  
_I've known it_  
_From the moment_  
_That we met_  
_No doubt in my mind_  
_Where you belong_

"Awesome" I said sarcastically. "What she wanted to ask you about me again? Our marriage?"

"No, I was just visiting, I would like you to meet her sometime you know. Not on a professional level like last time"

"Well, when I feel like complaining about our sex life..or lack of..I'll drop by".

"Whoa there. We haven't had time to eat breakfast together, never mind make love. We have different schedules. We will have to work something out" He was trying to remain calm, but I could see him getting upset and angry.

"You haven't touched me for months, what am I not good enough for you?"

"Sara, please. You are being ridiculous. You know I love-"

"No, don't. Don't you dare.". At this Gil sighed and sat on the bed, looking up at my shaking form. The anger and upset had gone, now he was just concerned.

"Why are you so angry?"

"You would have known if you had been here"

"Well I have other commitments, Sara!" Gil stood, shouting now. "I have friends too you know"

"I just had the worst day, I wanted you to be here with me" I said, a little quieter then previously. His features softened as he looked over me. "I had a child abuse case..some..stuff came back..that's all" I looked down at my feet, as though I was ashamed. Nonetheless Gil had no prevail. He looked over to me, sympathy not even igniting in his darkened eyes.

"You know, I can't just run to you every time something goes wrong? You have to do some things for yourself every now and again!" He flung his arms about exaggerating his point as I watched, no longer feeling angered but saddened. He went on, now practically screaming as he continued his rant. "Yes, I know you had a bad time as a child, I know you were in the system, but for Christ's sake Sara, just give it a break!" He turned, his eyes widening as he realised what he just said. "Honey...Sara..I'm sorry..I didn't mea-"

"Fine" I interrupted. "That's fine." I fled from him, from our bedroom, through the house and out the door, into the night rain.

_I'd go hungry  
I'd go black and blue  
I'd go crawling  
Down the avenue  
No, there's nothing  
That I wouldn't do  
To make you feel my love_

It was a beautiful day, our wedding. I sighed as I looked over the pictures, Sara looking at me, sharing a smile. It was during August we had gotten married, it was perfect. Her dress, her hair, her beautiful smile, an image of perfection.

I heaved myself onto the couch, the soft fabric groaning slightly under the new pressure. Hank, beside me, lifted his head towards me then jumped off and walked away, as though he was disappointed himself in what I had said. I shook my head, trying to dismiss the thought. I stood once more, not really knowing what I should do with myself, and resorted in making a small journey towards the living rooms bay window.

The rain smacked against the glass, the thunder and rolling clouds acting as its ensemble. _She's out there somewhere in the middle of all of that, because of me. _I rested my head against the cold window, _have to find her...before something happens. _

I pulled back, ignoring the hollow feeling inside me, and rushed to the back door. Upon locking it, I gathered my coat, car keys and made way to the door. I took a look back at our emptied home before running out into the night, after my Sara.

_The storms are raging_  
_On the rolling sea_  
_And on the highway of regret_  
_Though winds of change_  
_Are blowing wild and free_  
_You ain't seen nothing_  
_Like me yet_

Drips. Drips of rain. From the nose, the hair, the ends of my shirt. Just drips of moisture accompanied me as I walked along the roadside. _How could he say that to me? _I trod on, becoming more and more angry as I thought about him.

I thought back to the day I first told him about my past, my mother..my fathers death. He held my hand as I cried, exhausting myself of my secrets before him. He sat in almost complete silence as I did so, and held onto my hand. I had been embarrassed the next day, appearing in the doorway, flushed, apologising for my inappropriate behaviour. He just smiled, said he was glad he could help. I almost smiled upon the memory, before I remembered I was livid with him.

She looked about her environment. There were people in couples, hugging each other while under the small shelters the casinos offered. A pang of guilt tugged at her heart. _Maybe he was right...maybe I do complain too often..maybe I should give it a break..or let it go..._

I walked on, slowing a little from exhaustion. I had been walking for nearly an hour, my clothes were clinging to my cold back. I wondered how many times I had comforted Gil when he had been upset. He had told me about his father, how he died in the same room as him, how he didn't know what happened or why. How he lost what he thought to be a son, Warrick, in his arms. How much he missed me when I left, how he felt abandoned. He told me all these things and more, but only when he felt he could. My emotions on the other hand usually came billowing out.

"Sara!" My name hardly recognisable through the harsh noise of the rain smacking the pavement, but I heard it somehow. I turned, saw a Denali driving slowly to match my walking pace. "Honey, please. Listen"

"To what Grissom!" I shouted but against the rain it sounded like barely a whisper.

"To me! Your husband, to the man who loves you." I looked over at him. His face was flooded with concern, guilt and hope. "Come on, get in the car. We can talk at home"

"I don't want to get in the car with you, I don't want to go anywhere with you" I looked away, walking a little faster now. "Leave me alone."

"You only call me Grissom when you're livid" He noted, as he sped up a little.

"Good guess." I spat.

"Sara, why won't you let me talk"

"Because, you don't need to listen to my ranting. I don't want to burden you with it" I almost mumbled but he seemed to hear me.

"I like comforting you"

"You probably don't listen half the time"

"I do, I always listen, even when you aren't talking, my love" At this point I stopped, turning to him.

"Don't try that with me Grissom, don't try messing with my head with your little riddles, I'm not in the mood quite frankly!"

I hurried on, ahead of the car. When I didn't hear it catch up I turned back, to see it had stopped, and Gil was hushing towards me.

_I could make you happy  
Make your dreams come true  
Nothing that I wouldn't do  
Go to the ends  
Of the Earth for you  
To make you feel my love_

"This isn't a riddle Sara!" He yelled over the short distance between us. I stood directly opposite.

"I can't Grissom, I really can't do this. I don't want to have to feel like the weak, vulnerable one in this relationship. What you said made me realise...I always complain, I do. I shouldn't. Most of the stuff you know about me was told through a sob session or emotional rant...I'm sorry "

"I know so much about you through other things you know" He took a step towards me. "I can listen when you're silent"

"Wh-what?"

"I know you only call me Grissom when you want to kill me" He smiled, bemused as he walked closer. "You pick the second item off the shelf when shopping, because everyone has touched the first. You go running when you are stressed. In the summer, the freckles on your nose stand out more, which I find adorable" He was a mere few feet away now. "I've noticed you wear my clothes when you miss me, I always come home from work and you're asleep in them. You drink a lot of soy milk when you're ill. You're favourite M&Ms sweet colour is green, you pick the other colours out and save them until last." He walked a little further, now we were almost touching.

"Wow, Gil."

"Gil? So you forgive me?" He tilted his head, making his eyes huge. I couldn't help but laugh.

"Tell me one more thing? Why not?" I grinned cheekily. He pondered for a moment, then looked dead straight into my eyes.

"I know your the only woman I would do anything for. The woman I love, and always will do. My Sara" He moved a stray piece of hair from my face as I softened at his words.

"I love you, Gil Grissom...even though you can be an ass hole sometimes."

"And I love you, Sara Grissom...even though you make me go on wild goose chases around Vegas in the rain."

"Come on, lets get home, its freezing" I murmured as we began walking back to the car.

"I couldn't agree more...then I can show you what you mean to me instead of saying it." He turned to me, a mischievous glint in his eyes. He leaned in, dipping his head as he raised mine with his hand. We were both cold, soaking, shivering in the freezing nights rain, but for those few timeless seconds, none of that seemed to matter. He pressed his soft moist lips against mine, pressing my body, moulding it into his. I groaned at the discomfort of being stood in the public area not our warm home, but secretly enjoyed showing the world the affection I had for my husband...for my Gil.

_To make you feel my love._

* * *

_Review! All the cool kids do it.._


	14. Next to you

**Title: **_Next to you - Chris Brown and Justin Beiber_

**Author:**_ Liv'Simply_

**Rating: **_M to be safe._

**Pairing **_Gil G/ Sara S._

**Authors note: **_Sorry for taking so long with this one. But Merry Christmas to you all, here is a little present. _

**Summary: **_Who doesn't love a little bit of conversation while shopping?_

* * *

_Youfve got that smile,  
That only heaven can make.  
I pray to God everyday,  
That you keep that smile._

That 1000 watt smile lit up the room as Sara walked about it, occasionally running her slender fingers along the racks of material. gWhat do you think Gil?h She teased holding up a small article of clothing.

"Speedos? Not my thing darlingh I grinned, following her around. gI'm not the one in this relationship who suits tight, skimpy clothing.h

"Dirty old manh She patted my arm after putting the man thong down.

"I'm not that old, just...experiencedh

"I'd sayh she passed that one with a wicked wink.

"Now who is the dirty one?h

_Yeah, you are my dream,  
Therefs not a thing I wonft do.  
Ifll give my life up for you,  
Cos you are my dream._

"Speaking of dirty ones, I had a very..lets say..interesting dream last nighth To that she replied with one of those sultry glances she seems to so generously give me. She put the clothing down, then walked over to me, clasped my hand in hers and walked out of the shop with me.

The noise of the main wal-mart corridors was thrown against us, the mothers warning their children not to venture so far, young teenage girls giggling and boys jeering. Nonetheless our conversation did not falter. gI always have dreams about you actuallyh

"Oh?h She turned to me, her eyes sparkling. gAnd are they all..interesting?h

"Not all of them..just...quite a fewh I dipped my head, hoping she wouldn't notice the blood rushing into my facial capillaries. I knew I had failed when she giggled aloud.

"You look so cute when you go red!h Her dreamy lips pressed against my stubble clad cheeks.

"I need to shave don't I?h

"No, I like a bit of stubble on you. Makes you look a little...feralh She almost whispered the last word.

"Sara..you well and truly are my dream woman.h

_And baby, everything that I have is yours,  
You will never go cold or hungry.  
Ifll be there when youfre insecure,  
Let you know that youfre always lovely.  
Girl, cos you are the only thing that I got right now_

Sara rubbed her arms trying to settle the raising goosebumps. gYou cold honey?h

"Yeah, it's a little nippy in hereh I let go of her hand, then slid my coat from my arms. gWhat are yo-h

"Hereh I ushered the coat around her.

"Gil, you don't hav-h

"I do, I want to. Anyway, we said it in our vows remember? What's mine is yours?h

"That wasn't in our vows sweetieh

"Well...it was impliedh I shrugged, slipping my arm around her waist. gPlus, you look rather lovely in ith

"I look lovely in mens clothing...good to knowh

One day when the sky is falling,  
Ifll be standing right next to you,  
Right next to you.  
Nothing will ever come between us,  
Ifll be standing right next to you,  
Right next to you.

gJust being considerate honeyh

gThank youh

I smiled at her, then proceeded to walk, occasionally gazing into the passing shops and there displays. I turned back to my wife only to find her occupied by a scene unfolding ahead of her. A small child having a ice cream, or attempting to, and dropping most of it on her lap. I heard my Sara chuckle a little as the mother wiped away the sticky mess. I saw the way Sara looked at the small child...hopeful.

"What you thinking abouth I enquired..although I could pretty much guess.

You had my child,  
You make my life complete.  
Just to have your eyes on little me,  
Thatfd be mine forever.

"Nothing honey, just...contemplating life"

"What about it sweetheart?" I stopped by a near by cotton candy cart. I knew Sara was a sucker for the sticky sweet stuff. "Two please, make a big one for the lovely lady" I grinned at the man serving me.

"Sure buddy, be right there" He turned away to grab some plastic sticks and begin the short process. I turned back to my wife. Her eyes clouded over, her head slightly bowed as she was engaged deep in thought.

"Sar?"

"Gil."

"Talk to me"

"Hey buddy, here you go. That's three dollars" The man's voice was deep, gruff, but his face friendly. I handed the biggest cloud of pink fluff to my wife, then paid the patient man.

"Lets go sit down" She stated as she began to walk away.

And baby, everything that I have is yours  
You will never go cold or hungry  
Ifll be there when youfre insecure  
Let you know that youfre always lovely  
Girl, cos you are the only thing that I got right now

I followed her to a quiet corner, away from the chaos. gGil...h She started quietly. I decided I would not interrupt, instead allowing her time to gather her thoughts. gI have been getting these strange thoughts and feelings lately. I don't know how to explain it exactly...h She trailed of quietly once more.

"Go on dear, you know we can talk about anything. Tell me what you are feeling, it usually helps" I smiled supportively accompanying it with a gentle squeeze of her hand.

"Well...every month when I, urmm. Well, when mother nature visits me, I get...disappointed." She stopped and searched my eyes for a reaction before continuing. "I keep getting these urges and thinking about what it would be like to have a..a baby, a family of our own" She finished, bowing her head once more as if ashamed.

"Its normal to get those feelings sweetie, don't all women get them at some point? They will leave eventually" I lifted her chin to make her eyes meet mine. "Its okay"

"I don't want to feel like this. It feels like something is missing."

_One day when the sky is falling,  
Ifll be standing right next to you,  
Right next to you.  
Nothing will ever come between us,  
Ifll be standing right next to you,  
Right next to you._

"We can go away for a while, get your mind off it?"

"Gil...you don't understand. I've been feeling like this for a while"

Even though I dreaded the answer, I asked the question. gWell...how long is that?h

"Since...our honeymoon..."

The noise in the mall died down, the teenagers giggling and jeering disappeared. The mothers, children. The cotton candy selling men in carts and married couples. I looked at my wife. My wonderful wife, whom I thought I knew so well. Turns out, I had been missing something right in front of my nose. It all made sense now.

The longing looks, the controlled avoidance in walking past baby stores. The sex. Lots and lots of sex, constantly. I don't think she did it consciously. Sara would not trap me like that. No, it was a instinct. A natural instinct. One that I was denying her.

Wefre made for one another  
Me and you  
And I have no fear  
I know wefll make it through

"Gil?" Sara shook me slightly. I closed my mouth I realised was practically resting on my chest. "Are you okay? Say something?"

"Sara, I love you. So very much...what do you want to do about this situation?"

"I don't know. I'm scared Gil" She wrapped her arms around her. She at once transformed into a young child again, just trying to protect herself. Her huge eyes locked onto mine, and for the life in me, I could not break the contact. "I don't want it to be like our relationship. I don't want to waste time, and wake up in 10 years wishing I had a child to call my own, a family we could create"

"I know dear. We did waste time because-"

"-we didn't act soon enough" She finished. "I don't have much time either Gil"

"What are you taking about, your still quite young."

"I'm 40, nearly 41 Gil"

"Yeah, you don't look a day over 25, hot stuff" I winked, trying to lighten her mood. She gave me a weak smile in return.

"I only have a small chance of conceiving naturally now."

"Wait...you've looked into this?" I asked, slightly taken aback at how determined she was.

She didn't reply. Instead she leaned against me, pushed her head into the curve of my neck and sighed. Then, she sobbed.

One day when the sky is falling,  
Ifll be standing right next to you,  
Right next to you.  
Nothing will ever come between us,  
Ifll be standing right next to you,  
Right next to you.

Her hair threaded through my fingers as I held her. I felt my insides turning cold at the thought of her being this upset. At the thought of her harbouring these feelings for so long. gSara, you know I love you, right? I think we should think about this, clearly.h

"I love you too, Gil. You really want to talk about it?" She looked up, her eyes wet and dark. I realised I was still holding my cotton candy, not even taken a bite.

"Yes, I do. I think this is something we could...should do. Or at least think about. Why didn't you bring it up earlier?"

"I was scared.."

"Of my thoughts?"

"Yes that, I thought you would hate the idea of a child"

"What? Someone to teach, to love, another person that resembles you? Where's the bad in all of that?" I smiled, pulling her closer. "I'm beginning to like the idea actually. We can show our baby the world, all the different things out there, bring it up together, like a real family." I heard her laugh softly against my chest.

"But, Gil..." She pulled away, looking at me once more. She was different now, not a frightened child, but a terrified woman. "What if I'm like her? What if I do something wrong?"

Oh yeah  
Stand by my side  
When the sky falls  
Oh baby  
Ifll be there

"She alienated me and my brother. She would never defend us, even though she knew it would have been the right thing. She just stood there and watched. Cowering usually. I can't be like that Gil, I can't. I don't want to have a baby then ruin everything"

"You won't darling. I'm positive."

"How do you know? How can you be so sure?" She looked skywards. I saw them, the tears brimming at her eyelids.

"I know you, I know you would never hurt anyone. Not me, not our drooling Hank, certainly not our child. Your nothing like your parents, either of them. To me, your a godsend. The perfect godsend. I would not have you any other way either"

Youfve got that smile,  
That only heaven can make.  
I pray to God everyday,  
To keep you forever.

"Gil, godsends do something miraculous, like saving lives." I clasped her small hand, bringing it to my mouth then kissing it gently.

"You saved my life, doesn't that count as something miraculous?"

"I suppose so.." She leaned up, pressing her tender lips against mine. I groaned. Not a sexual groan, although Sara did also have that power over me too. No, a contented groan. I knew from now on, good things were going to come our way. Good things, hopefully, in a small bundle bearing the name 'Grissom'.

* * *

**Well then? What do you think? Just my interpretation of what should happen on the show! Merry Christmas once again! **


	15. Ours

**Title: **_Ours - Taylor swift_

**Author:**_ Liv'Simply_

**Rating: **_M to be safe._

**Pairing **_Gil G/ Sara S._

**Authors note: **_Hmm, didn't get much feedback for the last one, what's up guys? Anyways, hope you enjoy this one. Thanks._

**Summary: **_We all know how Sara is while being alone in Las Vegas, but what are her husbands thoughts?_

* * *

_Elevator buttons and morning air_

_Strangers silence makes me wanna take the stairs_

_If you were here, we'd laugh about their vacant stares_

_But right now, my time is theirs._

I reached up and pulled at the tie surrounding my neck. Not a nervous man, but I'm just finding a way to pass the time. I'm due to be boarding a flight to Vegas in just a few hours to be with my family. My fantastic wife, loving mother and drooling Hank.

The all too familiar aroma of coffee filtered through the air as I stood in the small space, occasionally being stopped to pick up more passengers. The space in the elevator soon filled. I wore a suit as I had just come from a early morning consultation with the Peruvian government. I glanced around at my enclosed surroundings. Mainly people in suits, even a couple in front, holding hands and sharing loving glances in between sipping coffee. I almost chuckled as I remembered the times Sara and I would walk about the streets of Vegas, holding hands, just glad to be in each others company.

_Seems like there's always someone who disapproves_

_They'll judge it like they know about me and you_

_And the verdict comes from those with nothing else to do_

_The jury's out, but my choice is you._

I thought back to the time when our relationship had come to attention. Our personal lives had been thrown into the limelight, unwittingly by me, of course. As much as I had tried to avoid Ecklie, I knew I would eventually have to face him. "_Gil, nobody wants to hear about your love life less then I do". _That almost annoyed me, but I soon realised there was no time for annoyance at those that disapprove, as those people didn't matter. We were happy, just us, together. That's all that counted. It was perfect, waking up in the morning to find that long legged beauty next to me, her hair splayed across the pillow, a sunlit hue cast on her face, only highlighting her features. I could admire her for hours on end.

_So don't you worry your pretty little mind_

_People throw rocks at things that shine_

_And life makes love look hard_

_The stakes are high, the waters rough, but this love is ours._

And it wasn't just sexual either, the feeling I got when I looked at her. Don't get me wrong, Sara was something else when it came to making love, just the way she would look at you, full of admiration and...dare I say it, love. She roused this feeling that was indescribable when she looked at me in that way. It made me feel both stronger and weaker at the same time, like there was so much in the world undiscovered and like you had found the thing you had been searching for your whole life. It was the way she looked in those moments that she had no idea I was watching. So peaceful, tranquil. Her nightmares of her childhood a universe away. She would sleep through the night, bundled up in my arms as I planted kisses on her face, making her giggle at 'how damn cute' I was. Her words, not mine. Yes, it was pure perfection when I was with Sara. Then, Natalie happened.

_You never know what people have up their sleeves_

_Ghosts from your past gonna jump out at me_

_Lurking in the shadows with their lip gloss smiles_

_But I don't care 'cause right now your mine._

It was unexpected to say the least. I remember being in my office, looking back at our time together. That night when I was so angry, her cool hand brushing against my dirtied face. "_Chalk..from plaster"_. I remember the sick feeling that started in the pit of my stomach and began growing the longer she was gone. All my mind could do was remember her in these moments. The walks around the park with Hank, lazy nights in on the sofa, even our small arguments. The regrets that rose were the worst. I should have been braver, I should have asked her out sooner. I would have made her my wife, we could have started a beautiful family.

Shoulda, woulda, couldn't. Those were the three words that lingered even after the rest had faded. Even after her rescue, I was shaking when I first saw her.

_And you'll say don't you worry your pretty little mind_

_People throw rocks at things that shine_

_And life makes love look hard_

_The stakes are high, the waters rough, but this love is ours._

The first few weeks were difficult. She got angry very easily. Adapting to using only one arm temporarily was so hard for her. Even harder, was accepting the help from those who loved her and feeling vulnerable. My heart sank the night I came back from grocery shopping and found her on the floor, leaning against the cupboard, tears rolling down her cheeks. Next to her, the remains of a mug and coffee smashed against the wooden floor. gLook at me. I can't even make coffee for myself!h She exclaimed once I wrapped my arm around her. I helped her to stand and made her way to the sofa. She sat with Hank while I cleaned. By the time I had returned, the tears had stopped. We talked about it, why she was feeling that way, how we could deal with it. We made coffee, together. We moved everything in the kitchen and bathroom for her ease. For the first time in a while, she smiled a little. That night, we made love, but it was different. It was slow, passionate, needing. Not in a bad way, in a way we both needed. We both wanted the other to know what we were feeling, what we could have lost in the dessert that night.

_'Cause I love the gap between your teeth_

_and I love the riddles that you speak_

_and any snide remarks from my father about your tattoos will be ignored_

_'Cause my heart is yours._

Of course, a lot of time had passed since then. Things had changed, she left, we lost Warrick, she came back, and left once more. Like her, I slipped into depression. My Sara was gone, fighting her past so we could have a future, but all I could think about was the present. I wanted her. I needed her to be with me. I needed to feel her hair through my fingers, her lips pressed against mine. That smile that I find to be an addiction.

I regretted never sending the letter...until I found it once more in my book...in a different chapter. I knew she had read it. She never mentioned it, but she didn't need to. We both knew how I felt and were the other one stood. That's why I decided to go after her, she was too much to lose.

_And you'll say don't you worry your pretty little mind_

_People throw rocks at things that shine_

_And life makes love look hard._

Our wedding was amazing. So quiet, sudden and...so us. The only thing I required as a necessity was the time of day. It had to be at sunset. Sara, of course, inquired as to why. When the sun drifted towards the cool water of the lake we stood before, the hue was cast on her milky skin, the ivory of her dress making her look even more delectable. The way I looked at her was her answer. We promised so much that day. For richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health and all the rest. But we promised everything that we were. We promised our minds, bodies and souls, we promised to be there in each others time of need. But most of all, we promised to love each other in a way we had loved no other.

_And you'll say don't you worry your pretty little mind_

_People throw rocks at things that shine_

_And life makes love look hard_

_The stakes are high, the waters rough, but this love is ours._

* * *

**_Thank you for reading, and please review, its only a little time out of you, but it means a lot. Helps me to decide what I'm doing right and wrong. Thanks again!_**


	16. Pieces

**Title: **_Pieces - Red_

**Author:**_ Liv'Simply_

**Rating: **_M to be safe._

**Pairing **_Gil G/ Sara S._

**Authors note: **_Thanks for the feedback, so nice to get some approval. Thank you those who reviewed. Here it is. Also, the chapter had not published properly last time, so sorry for those who were disappionted when they clicked onto it. Thanks for your patience._

**Summary: **_A photo album can bring back a lot of memories, and maybe even create new ones._

* * *

_I'm here again  
A thousand miles away from you  
A broken mess, just scattered pieces of who I am  
I tried so hard  
Thought I could do this on my own  
I've lost so much along the way_

The fraying material of the photo album felt rough beneath the flesh of my thumb as I gently brushed over the photos placed delicately by my mother over 30 years ago. The album started as my life did, a ultrasound scan of me as a foetus, curled up as though I was already protecting myself from the cruel world. The next few were of my mother pregnant. Her stomach swollen, her face radiating with joy as she smiled towards the photographer, presumably my father. I smiled as I gazed upon a particular one a few pages later, of me being cradled in her arms hours after my birth, my father on the hospital bed beside her, both sharing exhausted smiles.

After the newborn photos came the typical toddler images. Me in the bath, covered in food, crawling around and generally getting up to no good. My hand paused almost of its own accord as I came towards the end of the toddler photos. I knew the next stage was childhood, something I was dreading. But, I couldn't tear myself away from the simple album on my lap, as though I pursued my own past, my own being.

I turned the page and saw myself as the tall, awkward and shy child I was years ago. My hair was tousled from sleep, the photo being taken on Christmas day, my cheeks burning red, a deep shade of blue shadowing over my left eye. I was thin too, much thinner then I should have been, probably from lack of sleep or stress. The next picture displayed me with my brother, Stephan, in the snow. I was about 7 or 8 at the time, my thin frame hidden by the padded coat I was wearing, my bruises from the leather belt along with them.

_Then I see your face_  
_I know I'm finally yours_  
_I find everything I thought I lost before_  
_You call my name_  
_I come to you in pieces_  
_So you can make me whole_

A warm droplet of salty water plummeted towards the page, splashing over my young face as I looked at myself. "Sweetie?" I gasped at my husbands voice, thinking I was alone. "You okay there?" He continued, obvious concern flooding his eyes as he moved across the small home office to the couch I was placed on.

"Yeah, honey, just looking at some photosh I smiled sadly as I shared the album with him. He had seen them before, years ago, when our relationship was about to become intimate. "I can't believe its been 30 years since that..night" I turned the page to reveal one of our few family holidays. It was during a phase when my father was making a little more money then usual, so his mood was lifted slightly and he lessened his alcohol intake.

"You were so cute as a child" He chuckled, pointing to a photo of me and my brother, I was standing in a power blue dress, pouting at my mother who held the camera. I looked at my husband and felt a little sad as I saw his eyes narrow to the next photo, which displayed another bruise on the top of my small arm. "You were adorable." He went on, ignoring the small detail that meant so much.

"She used to take photos to make it feel...normal. So we could pretend we were happy and a typical American family" I stated, not sure if it was to him or me however.

"She was doing what all mothers do sweetie, she was proud of her children, she just wanted to capture some momentsh He lifted my chin to look into his eyes and our lips met. "Sara, there was nothing you could have done, you were just a child".

"They broke me" I replied in a almost robotic manner. "They ruined me, left me broken, with fucked up memories and even worse nightmares." I didn't meet his gaze as I muttered those words. I was afraid he would find truth in those words.

"Your not broken, your my Sara." He offered simply. "You went through something that I can't imagine, yet you still made something of yourself. Doesn't sound like a fuckup to me."

_I've come undone  
But you make sense of who I am  
Like puzzle pieces in your hand,_

Then the tears began. Silent at first so he did not notice, but soon I was shaking, my body shuddering as I looked at the photograph of us all together, seemingly the perfect family. _Lies. All of it lies. _I sighed into Gil's chest as he pulled me into a comforting embrace. "Its the anniversary soon, isn't it?" I only nodded my confirmation as he continued to stroke the length of my back. "You want to talk?"

"What is there to talk about, you have heard it all..."

"You might have nightmares" I pulled away from him to peer into his eyes once more. Concern was still there, but only as a factor, love being all the more dominant.

"I won't, I hardly have any nightmares when you're with me." I furiously brushed away stray tears.  
"Why are you crying then Sara?"

"I know now, why it happened now." I relaxed into his body as we looked at the photos once more.

"Yes, your mother was protecting you. I can understand in that situation"

"No...it was supposed to happen, if it didn't I wouldn't have become a CSI or met you"

"You would have done honey, you have always been enthusiastic about science and maths" He chuckled as he pointed to a photo of me holding more books then I should have been carrying. Now we were in my teen years of the photographs. "We probably would have found each other, one way or another" He planted a kiss on my head.

"No, I wouldn't have found you. I escaped San Francisco for the memories, I stayed in Vegas for what you were slowly doing to me over the years."

"-and what was that, Sara?" I turned to him. He seemed a little confused, his arms tightening a little around my body as I reached up to his cheek.

"Putting me back together."

_Then I see your face_  
_I know I'm finally yours_  
_I find everything I thought I lost before_  
_You call my name_  
_I come to you in pieces_  
_So you can make me whole!_  
_I tried so hard! So hard!_  
_I tried so hard!_

"I wish you could understand the impact you have had on me, my life." I brushed his stubbled cheek as I continued. "I wish I could pay you back somehow."

"You already have. You created a life with me. We have our house, our passions, our love-"

Hank chose that exact moment to rouse from his slumber and make his way into the office, jumping onto the couch between me and Gil, sharing his dribble with Gil while licking his face. "-and our lovely Hank." I finished, laughing at the huge dog clamber on Gil, who was desperately trying to regain control and failing miserably. "Come on Hank, get down boy". I tugged the dog down by his deep red collar, laughing once more at his whimpering. "I'm going to let him out, would you mind setting the alarm Gil?"

"Sure honey, might have to mop this drool off first though." He grinned, wiping at his face.

"Yeah, not kissing that face."

"Oh why? You've dated dogs before?" He laughed as he attempted to run away. Quickly I leapt, swatting his ass with my palm before he could get out the door.

"You better run, old man"

"Hey! That was a cheap one." He interjected, still laughing from the hallway. I turned, allowing Hank to walk ahead to the back of the house, and opened the patio door to let him out.

The cool air of the night disturbed my night dress slightly as the breeze passed by. I smiled into the moonlight, content at my life and all those in it. I smiled at the warm hand pressed against my lower back as my husband joined me. gComing inside honey? Hanks been in for agesh I looked around the dark garden and realised he was right.

"Its beautiful, isn't it?"

"Yes, very. Cold too" He replied, holding me from behind. "Come on, lets get inside and warm up."

_Then I see your face_  
_I know I'm finally yours_  
_I find everything I thought I lost before_  
_You call my name_  
_I come to you in pieces_  
_So you can make me whole_

Gil sighed as I relaxed on his chest, listening to his steady heart beat. I traced random patterns on his skin, smiling at the goosebumps raising to my touch.

"You know I would never hurt you Sara, I'd never let anyone hurt you, never again" I stilled at the sound of his quiet voice, I knew he was talking about my father and Natalie. He tried to mask the hints of sadness and anger as he spoke but probably heard them himself.

"I know, Gil, you don't need to tell me" I pressed my lips against his bare chest. "I can see it just looking at you. That's why I love you so" I looked at his face under a sheet of darkness, seeing the facial muscles shift as he smiled.

"And I love you my dear." His hand clasped over mine. We lay still in the darkness for a short while, I thought back to our earlier conversation. I realised why I loved Gil so much.

It wasn't his intelligence, although that was attractive, or his social abilities, which were confusing at best. It wasn't his ass or salt and pepper curled hair, which I found to be a very thought provoking pair. It was the fact he provided something that most other men had not even showed me. Protection, affection, admiration, understanding and love. He wasn't just interested in my body, he didn't use me for my wit, or think I was a 'cool chick' to hang out with. No, he saw something in me that he thought was worth loving, something I hadn't seen until he discovered it.

"Make love to me" I whispered in the pitch black. I turned to my side to look at his face. He reached towards, pulling my face towards his and planted a gentle kiss on my lips. "I need you Gil" I spoke against his mouth.

"I'm here Sara" He deepened the kiss, pushing me to my back gently as I groaned happily. "I'm not going anywhere. I promise."

_So you can make me whole._

* * *

**_Thank you for reading. I apologise for any mistakes, the file went a little weird towards the end when I uploaded it, but I think I spotted all the kinks._**

_**Reviews please! Thank you all.**_

_**Also, many of you probably noticed that the next chapter is Q. Ouch, thats going to be a tough one to find a song for, but I love a challenge. Thanks again for reading and reviews are much appreciated!**_


	17. Quiet

**Title: **Quiet - John Mayer

**Author:**_ Liv'Simply_

**Rating: **_M to be safe._

**Pairing **_Gil G/ Sara S._

**Authors note: **_Thank you all for the feedback, the reviews, inboxs and favourites! It lifts my spirits and drives me on. Just finished this one, I hope you like it. Had to kind of rush, but I hope it isn't mega noticeable! _

**Summary: **_Gina was right, Sara is a little pale recently. But is it just putting away bad guys thats making her that way?_

* * *

_Midnight  
Lock all the doors  
And turn out the lights  
Feels like the end of the world  
This Sunday night_

I wandered the empty house, occasionally talking aloud to Hank, who was currently snoozing in his much loved dog bed by the couch. I padded towards the back door checking it was locked. The world outside was a variety of life. I watched the night life for a few moments. The neighbourhood was quiet, consisting mainly of families and older couples. The exact reason Gil and I had decided to move here, shortly after Gil returned from his sabbatical. It was a small community, and it was quiet with a low crime rate. I smiled as I headed to our bedroom, flicking the lights as I did. I checked my phone for any messages, only finding one from D.B.

_'Hey, nice work today, firecracker.' Dated Sunday, 1__st__ April 2012._

I frowned at the firecracker comment, but realised it was probably due to my feisty nature. Throwing the phone on the bed, I opened my dresser, pulling out one of Gil's shirts and some of my own shorts. I stripped down, throwing my clothes in the nearby hamper and redressed, feeling a little more relaxed wearing my husband's clothing. My reflection in the mirror caught my eye. Gina was right, I was looking a little pale, and I had been in the lab more often, but not just to catch the bad guys, but to distract myself from what was missing at home.

_There's not a sound_  
_Outside the snow's coming down_  
_And somehow I can't seem to find_  
_The quiet inside my mind_

The bed sheets formed a silky cocoon around my slender body as I laid awake in the empty bed. I reached up, checked my phone again and flopped back into bed upon finding nothing new. "Maybe I need to tire my mind" I spoke to the silence, grabbing the remote. I did not usually watch TV alone, but when me and Gil were together, we loved to indulge in classic black and white movies. _Godzilla_ and _To Kill a Mockingbird_ were our favourites. The colours splashed across the walls as I flicked through the channels, deciding on _Schindler's List. _

I could only watch about 20 minutes before I stood and glanced out of the window once more. The scenery from the bedroom was not much different from the one downstairs, just a wider view. The sleepy neighbourhood was coated in the milky glare of the moon. I considered going to the lab, but dismissed the thought when I realised D.B. Would probably get my ass for it, something about needing a break or whatever.

I would never admit it, but I was kind of jealous of D.B., as his wife was in his home, not on the other side of the world. I smiled sadly, fingering my wedding band.  
_  
3:02  
The space in this room  
Has turned on me  
And all my fears have cornered me here  
Me and my TV screen_

3:02. The three digits blared from the bedside clock. I stopped messing with my wedding band, instead running my hairs through my hair. A single tear slid down my cheek, splashing on the fabric of the shirt. I missed Gil, that was no secret. Hell, even Nick and Greg had noticed, and would often ask if I wanted to hang out. "It would be good for you to get out a little Sara" They would often tease. I curled my arms around my frame, yearning for the comforting touch of my husband. I turned to the room, my reflection complying also. I slowly turned completely and stepped closer. I turned sideways then brushed my hands over my almost flattened stomach. A pang of loss was ignited inside me as I watched myself. It had been hard to ignore lately, the strange feeling I got when I saw mothers and their babies. I had spoken to Gil about the strange messages my body was sending me, but he merely dismissed it as a 'phase'. I knew his job was important, mine was too demanding, our current situation...confusing. How could a family fit in?

_The volume's down_  
_Blue lights are dancing around_  
_And still, I can't seem to find_  
_The quiet inside my mind_

The volume was lowered as I sat crossed legged on the bed. I thought of myself as a mother, but I was terrified at the thought. My own mother always came to mind whenever the urge appeared. I knew the figures, we both did. I nearly cancelled our marriage because of it. But Warrick made me realise, life was short, and I needed to do everything I wanted in the time I had. I brought my hand to my abdomen "Well, nearly everything" I sighed. Hank jumped up on the bed, resting his huge self next to me. I grinned, scratching his ear. "I suppose you will have to be my baby for now" I smiled at the dopey boxer. I realised I would have to talk to Gil about our future pretty soon, but it would wait for now. He was probably either working or resting. I glanced back at the clock. 5:43. Damn. I pulled the duvet over my body once more, curling into myself, willing my self to sleep.

_Daylight is climbing the walls_  
_Cars start and feet walk the halls_  
_The world awakes and now I am safe_  
_At least by the light of day_

The liquid sun raised from the earth, pushing away the darkness of night. I knew the neighbourhood was raising slowly as I wrapped the covers around myself as tight as possible. Hank was drifting away beside me. The shrill noise of the phone made me jump, but I quickly recovered and answered it with the usual. "Sara".

"Hello dear, having trouble sleeping?" I gasped at my husband. Not because he knew I was awake, that was typical of him, but because I took delight in hearing his casual voice.

"Hello you. You still never told me how you know when I'm awake?"

"And I never will. Shouldn't you be resting darling?"

"Yes, I should" I admitted. "I wish you didn't know me so well sometimes"

"Ah, but you are an open book my dear" Gil chuckled down the phone.

"I miss that" I almost whispered.

"I miss you in general, Sara. How's our little guy?" I turned to Hank as he spoke.

"Sleeping, eating, running, the usual. Easy life really."

"Lucky guy. I won't be too much longer here Sara, at least I hope not". I didn't reply for a short while. When we were first separated, I clung onto each time he said he would not be too much longer. Now I had heard it too often.

"Just take as much time as you need, Gil. I'll be waiting" I answered, struggling to keep my voice stable.

"Don't know what I did to deserve you, but I'm glad I did it. I will make up for it, I promise"

"Oh yeah? Dinner, romance, poetry on the cards?" I giggled as I relaxed into the bedding once more, enjoying our conversation.

"Well, being a father doesn't look too shabby" He simply stated. I swear my heart stopped within that moment, like it had done when he proposed. "Ermm...Sara? Sweetie, you still there?"

"Ye...yeah, sorry I...Wow Gil. That's..something else."  
"We will talk about this properly later, in person I hope. You get some sleep now, you need rest"

"Okay, Mr Grissom, I will try. Goodbye, stay safe sweetheart."

"I love you, Sara"

"I love you too."

And with that he was gone. I settled back into my usual place in bed, my mind still clouded by the last few moments. "Can you believe that Hank?" I questioned the sleeping form. "He dropped the F bomb, just casually in conversation". I smiled as I felt my body relaxing. It was just so casual, so upfront, so...Grissom. The light of day filled the room as my body surrendered to sleep, my mind drifted to my husband, our life and our future.

_At least by the light of day._

* * *

_**Thank you for reading. Please review, it only takes a few seconds but makes all the difference. Next time is R, already got a good song lined up for it, but I'm interested in what songs you guys like, so drop a review and let me know! **_


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